Chief Morale Officer's Log: Stardate 10188.7
Lieutenant Laura Heald Reporting

This weekend, Captain Richard, Lt. Debra and I were sent on a dangerous away mission; attending the First Boatless Regatta in Manhattan. Our mission: to boldly go drink, have fun and not get lost between pubs. By not letting Richard navigate, we managed to accomplish all three! Kudos to Frolic's Becky for running such a great regatta.

Our secondary mission, to recruit crew for the (virtual) boat, did not go so well. Deb was unsuccessful in her attempts to convince Frolic's Captain to take up the position of main "Guy" on Enterprise. (He may have slept in the life raft for the rest of the weekend though.) She did bring a number of crew members early in the race but they abandoned ship before the finish. I managed to survive several guilt trips and other sneaky ploys to break down my loyalty to the Enterprise. There were some close calls but, by reminding myself that Edd has recently been known to have beer on board (eh), I was able to maintain my allegiances.

Richard was in high spirits despite many distracting hails from the other side (phone calls from the ex) and successfully led us in Edd's (many times noted) absence. The rest of the crew was sorely missed, too but winter has come and they are either abstaining, procreating or just plain hibernating. We managed to place 2nd with only the three of us but still consider this a victory because we really wanted the funky little plaque and not the golfer dude with a straw.

Frolic's dedication to their training program obviously paid off as they took 1st Place hands down. I have heard rumors of a challenge from the crew of Hub-Bub. If not, I'm sure we'll be able find some reason to boldly go have fun again soon.

Captain's Log: Stardate 10185.4
Last night, Lt. Commander Beaver and Lt. Heald entered my quarters as Lt. Von Roeschlaub and myself were viewing the ship's logs of a previous vessel named "Enterprise" under the command of Captain Jonathan Archer (the logs are broadcasted weekly on UPN-9 Television.) Both were impressed with the size of the viewscreen and its digital capabilities, as we all watched from my couch. Laura sat on the floor, however, probably due to the size of her butt (see previous log entry.)

Laura brought fruit, crackers and cheese, but I, knowing of their arrival, provided beer and munchies. None commented on why I serve beer now and not during one of our sailing missions. Perhaps they realize that it is during the sailing missions that they are handling thousands of dollars worth of sailing equipment - and enough damage is done while fully sober not to warrant throwing alchohol into the equation.

Afterwards, we formed a landing party and beamed down to Rhodes, where we discussed a variety of subjects ranging from crew positions, to absent spouses to Laura's seemingly pathetic social life - although she apparantly has a date on Friday with another vessel's crewman, who, unlike JG, will now be known as "WG." At least she's moving up.

Captain's Log: Stardate 10184.3
Last night, an Enterprise landing party led by myself beamed into an uncharted area of the planet Brooklyn, known by the local inhabitants as "Casa del Tune." It was a strange area, where people watch scrambled cable television on computer monitors, baseball teams win records for being the losingest team in World Series game history, and there’s not a hint of a non-alcoholic drink anywhere -- clearly this was a common destination for USS Frolic.

However, as it is part of our mission to learn about new cultures, we began to study the actions of those around us. We witnessed a rare ritual ceremony of a crew buying gear and sails for the captain – deeply touching, yet I wonder if the check will bounce. I witnessed Martin Tune dance to salsa music and Lt. Weinstock’s sister, Donna, control a television remote from between her legs – although something tells me it’s not the first time Donna has controlled something from between her legs.

During the ceremony, Lt. Heald commented that her butt was too big for the arm of the chair she was trying to sit on, but then wanted to know what boats were going to compete in the “Turkey Shoot” (Um, that’s the “Turkey Day Reach”, Laura. They just sail. No turkeys will be harmed during the regatta.) Nevertheless, I will see if I can get her a spot on USS Sonshine, that is, if her butt’s not too big for a 30-foot sailboat.

Lt. vonRoeschlaub didn’t make it to the surface, despite promises that he would. I understand that plans are being made for the First Annual Boatless Regatta, using New York City bars as rounding marks. I’m confident that members of the Enterprise crew will want to compete.