Captain’s Log: Stardate 10198.9
With Stardate 10200.0 rapidly approaching, I wanted to take a moment and wish the crew of the Starship Enterprise, along with all of our friends off the ship, a happy, healthy and safe new year.

It’s very unfortunate that 2001 will be most remembered for the events of September 11, so much so that this passing year will be one that we will never forget. We can all be thankful that we are all safe and surrounded by those who care about us.

I did want to point out, however, that 2001 should also be remembered for the good times. Times that tested our limits (as well as the Enterprise’s) and made us laugh. Here’s a small recap of some of the more memorable events of 2001:

∙ Stardate 10141.3: Laura and Kurt join the crew of the Enterprise. Commander Jerry Finger officially recognized as the weakest link – goodbye.
∙ Stardate 10146.3: We decide on spinnaker assignments. Laura handles the sheet and Deb does the guy (his name is Jeff.)
∙ Stardate 10146.6: Captain Jeff Ohstrom of the USS Frolic defeats and shames the evil hairy Horta in a protest hearing.
∙ Stardate 10150.1: Richard and The Crusher return home on the Enterprise after a short pleasure cruise. Thankfully, the ship was still in one piece.
∙ Stardate 10150.3: The crew of the Enterprise discovers who is managing whom in Andy’s marriage.
∙ Stardate 10157.5: The Enterprise returns in 5th place from its mission Around Long Island with butt cake, fruit cup photon torpedoes (Dave’s invention) and paper-towel-dried sails. Jory lost weight. Jonathan and Brad both boldly slept like no man has slept before.
∙ Stardate 10162.4: Laura loses all pole vaulting Olympic dreams when she somehow vaults herself onto a pole.
∙ Stardate 10165.2: Six of Nine rumors begin. Brad starts new job and becomes a distant memory.
∙ Stardate 10173.1: Promotions and commendations are given to the crew.
∙ Stardate 10177.0: In more wind than the Enterprise has ever sailed in, we take a 3rd in the Leukemia Cup Regatta, all with minimal damage and no lost crew. Most importantly, we helped to raise a record $18,000 for Leukemia research.
∙ Stardate 10184.3: The New York Yankees set a world record for being the losing-est team in World Series game history (Hey, I’m a Mets fan.)
∙ Stardate 10188.7: The Enterprise takes 2nd in the First Annual Boatless Regatta. Seeing as our best score of the year was in a race not actually involving the ship, plans are under way to refit the ship’s warp drive (sails) while in winter spacedock.
∙ Stardate 10194.2: I announce to the crew my engagement. Humans now await the remaining six signs of the apocalypse.
∙ Stardate 10196.1: During the surprise 60th birthday celebration for Richard, the crew chip in and restore the navigation systems of the Enterprise. Jonathan shows up – so now humans await the remaining five signs of the apocalypse.

Happy New Year, everyone. May there be wind in our sails and peace on Earth (not to mention the rest of the quadrant.)

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10196.1
This past weekend, the crew of the Starship Enterprise gathered in New York City to celebrate the 60th birthday of our first officer, Richard Schillay. Conversation at the table ranged from off-season adventures to Lt. Kurt’s mating and child-rearing techniques to rating levels of weirdness & eccentricity to my impending nuptial doom.

Although I was not privy to every conversation, I did hear Lt. Andy Brick (who was late -- big surprise) say something about going with “all 12 inches, screwing and screwing, putting all 200 pounds of Andy into it, but still was not able to go deeper.” Although a crewman or two may have believed he was talking about home repair, most of us thought otherwise. Andy’s wife was not present to neither confirm nor deny any claims of 12 inches.

The weirdness & eccentricity scale was most confusing. It appears that some of the crew believe, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most weird and eccentric, that I rank a measly 2. Much like Al Gore, I demand a recount! Let’s review some facts: I own a boat named the Starship Enterprise with a sail number NCC-1701-A. The graphics on the boat were copied exactly from those used on the Star Trek starships, so much so that I took off from work to make sure the graphics people had the correct typeface, Starfleet Bold Extended (a difficult true-type to come by.) The crew all wear shirts and fleece jackets that make use of official logos that were originally used by costume designers for 1979’s Star Trek: The Motion Picture, and won by high bid on eBay. I have created an Excel spreadsheet that will turn any date into a Stardate and keep a running Captain’s Log on the Internet. And I only get a 2? Come on!

The party went well, and Richard loved the gift that the entire crew chipped in for. Lt. Weinstock and USS Frolic’s Captain Ohstrom gave Richard an Around Long Island 2002 Survival Kit which included important items such as paper towels to keep sails dry and beef jerky (which hopefully will not get sat on.)

Installation of our new navigation system will take place some time in mid-April. That installation, along with other repairs and refits, puts an expected launch date for the Enterprise at Stardate 10232.6 (April 29, 2002.) Details regarding work parties will be posted in a few months.