Captain’s Log: Stardate 10196.1
This past weekend, the crew of the Starship Enterprise gathered in New York City to celebrate the 60th birthday of our first officer, Richard Schillay. Conversation at the table ranged from off-season adventures to Lt. Kurt’s mating and child-rearing techniques to rating levels of weirdness & eccentricity to my impending nuptial doom.

Although I was not privy to every conversation, I did hear Lt. Andy Brick (who was late -- big surprise) say something about going with “all 12 inches, screwing and screwing, putting all 200 pounds of Andy into it, but still was not able to go deeper.” Although a crewman or two may have believed he was talking about home repair, most of us thought otherwise. Andy’s wife was not present to neither confirm nor deny any claims of 12 inches.

The weirdness & eccentricity scale was most confusing. It appears that some of the crew believe, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most weird and eccentric, that I rank a measly 2. Much like Al Gore, I demand a recount! Let’s review some facts: I own a boat named the Starship Enterprise with a sail number NCC-1701-A. The graphics on the boat were copied exactly from those used on the Star Trek starships, so much so that I took off from work to make sure the graphics people had the correct typeface, Starfleet Bold Extended (a difficult true-type to come by.) The crew all wear shirts and fleece jackets that make use of official logos that were originally used by costume designers for 1979’s Star Trek: The Motion Picture, and won by high bid on eBay. I have created an Excel spreadsheet that will turn any date into a Stardate and keep a running Captain’s Log on the Internet. And I only get a 2? Come on!

The party went well, and Richard loved the gift that the entire crew chipped in for. Lt. Weinstock and USS Frolic’s Captain Ohstrom gave Richard an Around Long Island 2002 Survival Kit which included important items such as paper towels to keep sails dry and beef jerky (which hopefully will not get sat on.)

Installation of our new navigation system will take place some time in mid-April. That installation, along with other repairs and refits, puts an expected launch date for the Enterprise at Stardate 10232.6 (April 29, 2002.) Details regarding work parties will be posted in a few months.