Captain’s Log: Stardate 10232.6
After packing up my life into 36x12x12 boxes, I have officially moved off of “The Rock,” also known as City Island. Soon, I’ll be dealing with the pleasures of maintaining a roof, boiler repairs, mortgage payments and lawn mowing. Dear God, what have I done?

The big news however, is that our first officer, Richard, has asked Marcy to be his bride and get this -- she said yes! Despite this glaring effort to steal the wind from my sails, I am very happy for the two of them. Now the two of them can clean the bilge together. Isn’t love grand? It wouldn’t be prudent not to warn Marcy about what she’s getting into, so here are some things you should know about our beloved first officer:

1. He’s a neat freak. He’ll clean everything. Doesn’t matter when. Not such a bad thing, because the Enterprise would be a mess without him.

2. Bad Sales = Bad Sails. If his art sales are down, he’s an absolute terror on the water. Get people to buy paintings or we may just have to stun him on Wednesday Nights.

3. He overestimates the absorption power of a paper towel.

4. Keep birthday cakes in areas where he can’t sit on them.

5. Forget president – he’s not even a member of the Hair Club for Men. I figure another ten years and he’ll have the whole Jean-Luc look.

In all seriousness, this is great news. You may send congratulations to Richard and condolences to Marcy.

So what’s next? I wonder… One thing did pop into mind, however. Last year, 70 year-old James Doohan, best known for playing “Scotty”, did become a new father. Be afraid. Be very afraid.