Captain’s Log: Stardate 10280.8
I’ve just received clearance from Star Fleet to release the following information which was originally told to me in confidence last weekend. As you can imagine, keeping information from the log is not something that comes easily to me.

For those of you who got to know our Ensign Patty over the last season, her days of man-less frustration are seemingly now over. In fact, you could say she’s singing a different “Tune.”

That’s right: Ensign Patty and the USS Frolic’s Martin Tune (who we usually refer to as “Mar-Tune”) are now an item and frankly, it’s hard to imagine better news. First there was Jeff and Deb, and now Martin and Patty – which makes me wonder if Dennis will be looking Lefty over anytime soon (or Danielle at Jory.)

Patty gave permission to make the union public (And boy, has this log gone public!) after her proud representation of the Enterprise at the club’s Going Out of Commissioning Party this past Saturday night. She was supposed to meet Martin’s parents (Yes, I too was shocked he actually has parents – thinking Martin was hatched out of some beaker in a condemned science laboratory specializing in potato guns and poor television reception,) but she tells me that will have to wait until another time.

Will we be calling her “Pat-Tune” anytime soon? Who knows. But they seem to have something really good going and I wish them the very best.

…and unlike Laura, her relationship’s success won’t keep her from her duty on board the Enterprise.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10280.5
Yesterday I was joined by Lieutenant Laura and Ensign Patty for the seasonal decommissioning of the Starship Enterprise. This included taking all of the sails off, removing the boom (yet afterwards I still found myself ducking when coming out of the cabin,) changing the oil, and putting pink anti-freeze (which looks like Kool-Aid but doesn’t have the same sweet taste) into the ship’s water system. My deepest thanks to Ensign Patty who happily jumped into the engine room to siphon oil from the warp core. Of course, while down there, she was subjected to a large dose of lethal radiation, but Laura and I decided not to tell her. In the end, it looks like she’ll be all right, but there’s a odd streak of purple in her hair.

One of the saddest traditions that goes along with this duty is the removal of the dedication plaque from the main cabin (it get brought home and cleaned up for the following season.) Another great season is now officially at an end.

The crew has been invited to a “pot luck” dinner at Lt. Laura’s quarters the weekend after next for snacks, drinks, great food, and a chance to meet Laura’s new Canadian boyfriend (for those who have read the log last year, I suppose he represents a different type of stanchion for her to jump on – perhaps without cracking a rib this time.) I certainly hope to make it, but we’ll be in the middle of upgrading our computers at Star Fleet Command (my office) and that project may take more time than we hope for. Nevertheless, I expect a full report from the senior officers afterwards.

This new man, who for now we will refer to as “Ronnie the Romulan,” does represent some danger to the ship. There is a possibility that Lt. Laura could return to her homeworld of Canada as early as next May and may not return to duty on board the Enterprise next season. I am therefore asking Jory to start studying up on spinnaker sheet control (are you up for it, Jory?) and the rest of the crew to open up all hailing frequencies for a replacement crewmember. Sailing experience is preferred, but, as always, we are willing to train dedicated newcomers.

Captain's Log: Supplemental
With the good news also comes the bad: Lieutenant Debra, still doing circles at Warp 9 over her recent engagement with Jeff, has requested a transfer of posting.

Her request has been approved by both myself and Star Fleet Command so therefore, effective immediately, she will now be posted on board USS Frolic, NCC-167. She did ask, from time to time, to also sail on board the Enterprise, to which I extended an open invitation.

Through the past few years, Deb has been a valued member of the crew and her presence will be missed on the bridge. I wish her the best of luck on Frolic. See you at the finish line, Deb.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10279.2
The one constant in this universe is that the universe is ever-changing. This week has seen some of the biggest changes of all, yet all of them wondrously expected.

It started this past weekend when Commander Richard gave into the Intruder’s power and finally tied the knot in a beautiful ceremony that included fine dining, Motown music, and terribly corny champagne toasts. The happy couple is on their honeymoon right now, in of all places, Canada.

Captain Robin Ricca has been given command of the USS Saucy Girl, a Soverel 33-class starship, which will most likely be renamed to USS Robin’s Nest II (Or Robin’s Nest-A if you do things like we do.) Congratulations go out to him and his crew.

And today, our very own Lieutenant Debra has announced her engagement to Captain Jeff Ohstrom of the USS Frolic. The date has not yet been set for the joyous couple. Having known the two of them for many years (and as the one who set them up,) I can think of no better match. May their lives together be filled with good health and happiness. (Normally, I would put something in here about “blowing the guy,” but I’m in a good mood today and whole-heartedly wish the couple the very best.)

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10277.3
Now that the season is officially at a close (despite rumors that the crew is planning to race the Enterprise in this year’s Leukemia Cup without me,) I have reviewed the performances of the crew and have decided on the following crew awards and rank changes:

Commander Richard, despite the decrease in rank towards the end of the season for blatant disregard of Star Fleet duty, is a vital part of the crew, able to call sail trim and assess information on the water to make tactical decisions. For that, he is awarded this year’s M-5 Award. After this coming weekend, Richard’s life will evolve and we hope not for the worse. Hopefully he will once again restore himself to the rank of Captain.

Lt. Commander Dave is clearly on his way up the ranks and I can easily imagine him one day having a command of his own (and perhaps taking the crew with him in the process.) His knowledge of the Enterprise foredeck is beyond impressive and his attendance has been no less than perfect. It is his unrelenting attitude and skills that has earned him this year’s DeForest Kelley Memorial Award. He is the one that the rest of the crew turns to in any situation and because of that, he is also awarded a rank increase to Commander.

Lt. Commander Jory also has a perfect attendance record. His dedication to the ship and his fellow crew members has not gone without notice. He is willing to train others and always is ready for action despite lack of sleep, personal troubles or a shortage of Black and White cookies. It’s been several years since Jory transferred to us from the USS Scrimshaw, and the Enterprise is far better for it. An official commendation is therefore so noted.

Lt. Laura is our Chief Morale Officer and since the beginning of our missions, nobody has done the job better. Laura is always sure that everyone is enjoying themselves, thrives on crew interaction and has even acted as Chief Moral Officer when the Captain’s Logs get out of hand. She is the clear recipient of the Organian Medal of Honor. Her sailing skills, especially spinnaker control, has vastly improved and she has proven herself to be of immense value to me both as a crewmember and as a friend. I’m not sure how much longer Laura will remain in this branch of Star Fleet due to rumors of Minneapolis or a return to the Canadian homeworld, but I hope she chooses to stay for many years to come. Laura also is the recipient of this year’s Photon Torpedo Award, when she fended off an attack from the USS Frolic with an ice meteor aimed at the captain’s head.

Lt. Kurt, who at times seems like the love-child of Mr. Spock and Cliff Clavin (talk about a pon farr,) has been a tremendous asset on the bridge both under main control and in operating the spinnaker downhaul. Furthermore, he does an incredible job of putting up with all my “Star Trek” crap while he is so much of a “Star Wars” fan that you could almost call it a Boba Fett-ish. These traits, coupled with his excellent attendance record for the season has earned him an official commendation.

Lt. Debra spent more time off the ship than on this season, juggling her career goals and her new soccer-mom status. Still, when Deb does make it to missions, she is a welcome part of the crew – and Jeff can take some pleasure in knowing that nobody blows a guy better. I hope she can be a bigger part of next year’s season and even find it within herself to try the Around Long Island.

Ensign Mitch, also known throughout the galaxy as “Ensign Sushi,” transferred to the Enterprise this year from an escape pod launched from the earlier USS Eagle. Mitch has been a pleasant surprise with his spinnaker-handling skills and his ever-increasing willingness to learn more. He is constantly reviewing tactics, sail trim and has a keen interest in the ship’s operations. When Star Fleet commissioned a new USS Eagle, Captain Ernie Bivona tried to get Mitch to return to his crew, but Mitch decided to stay on board the Enterprise where he is safest and has a much better time. It‘s hard to lock down a defining moment, whether it was the time when he kept the Enterprise out of a death roll during a windy Wednesday Night or when he tried to set up Laura with his friend’s fax machine, but nevertheless, his actions have earned him a rank increase to Lieutenant.

Ensign Brad, with his poor attendance this season, could have fallen off the Enterprise in last weekend’s broach and we may have not even noticed it. As much as I understand the demands of work and career, Brad needs to try to come out racing more often. He presence is missed and, should he make regular appearances, I would like to assign him more responsibility on the ship. We need his fresh perspective and could use more tutelage on his 90-day rules. I hope he doesn’t boldly go where Jonathan had went before as the crew will get new shirts next year and I hope Brad’s isn’t red.

Ensign Patty, the Enterprise’s other Canadian crewperson, has been an absolute delight to have on board. On every starship there’s a crewperson who takes care of every job that comes along, including genoa releasing, skirting the headsail, winching the spinnaker sheet, spinnaker takedown, spinnaker repack, and countless other tasks that come up in the course of a race. That crewperson is a vital part of the ship’s operations and Patty has done an incredible job of fulfilling that role. Along with an official commendation, Patty is also the recipient of this year’s Harry Fenton Mudd a/k/a Leo Walsh Award for her handling of extraordinary abuse from Commander Dave and others on board for her Canadian background, her homemade uniform (complete with nipples), her drinking adventures, her corruption of young impressionable Kings Point cadets, or countless other things. I look forward to having her return next season and hopefully many seasons to come.

Ensign Lefty, who has already won this year’s A-Ralph Long Island Award, disappeared for a good portion of the season to visit Greece and was greatly missed. Lefty is another crew person, like Patty, who takes care of every extra job that comes along. Lefty also receives a commendation for her easy-going attitude, style and grace under pressure. She’s also responsible for getting the Enterprise its first corporate sponsor – Lavender Mist (as seen on TV, available everywhere seasickness cures are sold.)

Aside from being the best crew in the Star Fleet, these people are also my friends to the point where I consider them family (no, that doesn’t mean you can borrow money.) I am sure that our adventures, both on the water and off, are far from over and I look forward to spending some time with them during the off-season.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10276.7
”Spreader, meet the water. Water, this is the spreader.”

They say the worst thing that can happen to a starship is a warp core breech, which usually comes from a loss of containment fields, mixing together matter and anti-matter, and resulting in an explosion that will not only destroy the ship and everyone on board, but can do tremendous damage to other ships or planets that happen to be nearby. And even though I fully expect the USS Eagle to experience such a catastrophe (it’s only a matter of time,) we experienced the next best thing. In Saturday’s race 1 of the Fall Series, during high winds, we lost control of the spinnaker and the helm, resulting in a high-speed turn upwind and a roll to port. In the course of a few seconds, the crew held on for dear life and only a couple of us fell downwards to the warm waters below. Mitch blew the guy and the ship righted herself, once again restoring control.

We did a head count and aside from a few bumps and bruises, all were fine and accounted for. We checked our gear and came up short a sheet and guy, so our spinnaker-flying season had officially ended. Luckily, we were able to switch and continue the series in the non-spinnaker division.

Missing, as usual, were Lt. Debra and Ensign Brad. Also not able to join us for the season’s final mission was Lt. Kurt, placing his career and the welfare of his wife and child ahead of his Starfleet duty – which ultimately was a good decision as chances are he would have ended up overboard during the broach.

The series continued on Sunday, with even less crew. Mitch couldn’t escape his wife’s tractor beam and Lt. Laura spent the day at home praying to the porcelain gods and doing “Lefties” from some sort of food poisoning -- not to be confused with “doing Lefty,” which is Aran's domian (or is there a new man from California???)

For our last race series of the season, I’m proud to say the Enterprise finished in third place, thanks to the coordinated effort of the best crew in the fleet.

Plans are already under way for repairs, refits and next season’s sailing adventures, where we will continue the voyages we have begun, seeking out new regattas and exploring new frontiers.

Boldly going where no one has gone before.