Captain’s Log: Stardate 10277.3
Now that the season is officially at a close (despite rumors that the crew is planning to race the Enterprise in this year’s Leukemia Cup without me,) I have reviewed the performances of the crew and have decided on the following crew awards and rank changes:

Commander Richard, despite the decrease in rank towards the end of the season for blatant disregard of Star Fleet duty, is a vital part of the crew, able to call sail trim and assess information on the water to make tactical decisions. For that, he is awarded this year’s M-5 Award. After this coming weekend, Richard’s life will evolve and we hope not for the worse. Hopefully he will once again restore himself to the rank of Captain.

Lt. Commander Dave is clearly on his way up the ranks and I can easily imagine him one day having a command of his own (and perhaps taking the crew with him in the process.) His knowledge of the Enterprise foredeck is beyond impressive and his attendance has been no less than perfect. It is his unrelenting attitude and skills that has earned him this year’s DeForest Kelley Memorial Award. He is the one that the rest of the crew turns to in any situation and because of that, he is also awarded a rank increase to Commander.

Lt. Commander Jory also has a perfect attendance record. His dedication to the ship and his fellow crew members has not gone without notice. He is willing to train others and always is ready for action despite lack of sleep, personal troubles or a shortage of Black and White cookies. It’s been several years since Jory transferred to us from the USS Scrimshaw, and the Enterprise is far better for it. An official commendation is therefore so noted.

Lt. Laura is our Chief Morale Officer and since the beginning of our missions, nobody has done the job better. Laura is always sure that everyone is enjoying themselves, thrives on crew interaction and has even acted as Chief Moral Officer when the Captain’s Logs get out of hand. She is the clear recipient of the Organian Medal of Honor. Her sailing skills, especially spinnaker control, has vastly improved and she has proven herself to be of immense value to me both as a crewmember and as a friend. I’m not sure how much longer Laura will remain in this branch of Star Fleet due to rumors of Minneapolis or a return to the Canadian homeworld, but I hope she chooses to stay for many years to come. Laura also is the recipient of this year’s Photon Torpedo Award, when she fended off an attack from the USS Frolic with an ice meteor aimed at the captain’s head.

Lt. Kurt, who at times seems like the love-child of Mr. Spock and Cliff Clavin (talk about a pon farr,) has been a tremendous asset on the bridge both under main control and in operating the spinnaker downhaul. Furthermore, he does an incredible job of putting up with all my “Star Trek” crap while he is so much of a “Star Wars” fan that you could almost call it a Boba Fett-ish. These traits, coupled with his excellent attendance record for the season has earned him an official commendation.

Lt. Debra spent more time off the ship than on this season, juggling her career goals and her new soccer-mom status. Still, when Deb does make it to missions, she is a welcome part of the crew – and Jeff can take some pleasure in knowing that nobody blows a guy better. I hope she can be a bigger part of next year’s season and even find it within herself to try the Around Long Island.

Ensign Mitch, also known throughout the galaxy as “Ensign Sushi,” transferred to the Enterprise this year from an escape pod launched from the earlier USS Eagle. Mitch has been a pleasant surprise with his spinnaker-handling skills and his ever-increasing willingness to learn more. He is constantly reviewing tactics, sail trim and has a keen interest in the ship’s operations. When Star Fleet commissioned a new USS Eagle, Captain Ernie Bivona tried to get Mitch to return to his crew, but Mitch decided to stay on board the Enterprise where he is safest and has a much better time. It‘s hard to lock down a defining moment, whether it was the time when he kept the Enterprise out of a death roll during a windy Wednesday Night or when he tried to set up Laura with his friend’s fax machine, but nevertheless, his actions have earned him a rank increase to Lieutenant.

Ensign Brad, with his poor attendance this season, could have fallen off the Enterprise in last weekend’s broach and we may have not even noticed it. As much as I understand the demands of work and career, Brad needs to try to come out racing more often. He presence is missed and, should he make regular appearances, I would like to assign him more responsibility on the ship. We need his fresh perspective and could use more tutelage on his 90-day rules. I hope he doesn’t boldly go where Jonathan had went before as the crew will get new shirts next year and I hope Brad’s isn’t red.

Ensign Patty, the Enterprise’s other Canadian crewperson, has been an absolute delight to have on board. On every starship there’s a crewperson who takes care of every job that comes along, including genoa releasing, skirting the headsail, winching the spinnaker sheet, spinnaker takedown, spinnaker repack, and countless other tasks that come up in the course of a race. That crewperson is a vital part of the ship’s operations and Patty has done an incredible job of fulfilling that role. Along with an official commendation, Patty is also the recipient of this year’s Harry Fenton Mudd a/k/a Leo Walsh Award for her handling of extraordinary abuse from Commander Dave and others on board for her Canadian background, her homemade uniform (complete with nipples), her drinking adventures, her corruption of young impressionable Kings Point cadets, or countless other things. I look forward to having her return next season and hopefully many seasons to come.

Ensign Lefty, who has already won this year’s A-Ralph Long Island Award, disappeared for a good portion of the season to visit Greece and was greatly missed. Lefty is another crew person, like Patty, who takes care of every extra job that comes along. Lefty also receives a commendation for her easy-going attitude, style and grace under pressure. She’s also responsible for getting the Enterprise its first corporate sponsor – Lavender Mist (as seen on TV, available everywhere seasickness cures are sold.)

Aside from being the best crew in the Star Fleet, these people are also my friends to the point where I consider them family (no, that doesn’t mean you can borrow money.) I am sure that our adventures, both on the water and off, are far from over and I look forward to spending some time with them during the off-season.