Captain’s Log: Stardate 10311.8
It is with mixed emotions that I now approve Lt. Laura’s resignation from the Starship Enterprise and transfer back to planet Canada, the wretched ice planet from where she came. Although I’m happy she has met Ronnie the Romulan and will be starting a new life, it’s sad that we have to say goodbye to such a noted crewperson.

I’ve been looking back over Laura’s two-year service on the Enterprise, and I thought, for archival purposes, it’s a good idea to reflect on some of her defining moments under my command.

Laura started in Star Fleet on the USS First Rate, serving under Captain Palmer and, so I’m told, under a fellow crewperson with whom she had a many-year relationship. Upon Captain Palmer’s retirement and Laura’s relationship becoming uglier than William Shatner in a G-string, Laura was left confused, angry and jaded – a perfect fit for duty on board the Enterprise.

Once on board, she became very active and, with her spinnaker-handling skills, became a vital part of the crew. She became our Chief Morale Officer when her antics both on the ship and off became a source of entertainment. Whether it was a date with J.G. or a hairy old guy, the consumption of a butt cake, the sacrifice of a rib to save a sail, or tales of weekend missions on board other starships, Laura kept us all guessing as to what she could possibly be doing next.

On more than one occasion, Laura and I spent time after everyone left discussing Life, Love, The Universe, and Everything In-between. Aside from having a great sense of humor, Laura is warm, caring and sincere. I know she will make her new man very happy, and I feel I’m a better person for having Laura as part of my life for as long as I did. I’m sure that feeling is shared amongst the rest of the Enterprise crew as well.

Laura, take care and know that all our hopes for you to be happy are with you. We’re glad you’re following your dreams and your passions, and we know that you deserve and will receive the very best that life has to offer. We all love you and we’ll miss you.

And as for your time with us on the Enterprise, I suppose the old saying is true. All good things . . .