Captain’s Log: Stardate 10341.1
Commander Dave Beaver reporting as Temporary Commanding Officer
Tonight’s race was a series of Firsts. First night of the season out racing, first night for the new Warp Drive, first Night racing for Ensign Hildie (welcome), and unfortunately first night racing without a windex. It appears that the Enterprise’s state-of-the-art refit (complete with low-mass masthead) was a complete failure. Without any wind direction reference, Richard’s hand at the helm was reminiscent of Ernie, or Lt. Heald. The crew was constantly looking back to see if we had been Bivonaed, but sadly it was always Richard still back there just confused without any wind reference point. (Captain’s note: Yacht racing, as well as Richard, have both been around much longer than the invention of the Windex.)

Our Captain, Edd, and Lt. Kurt didn’t show. Kurt performed all necessary spousal management maneuvers, with the wife and new baby, but in the end was scared off by the weather. Kurt, we race in just about anything. The weather cleared, and it was a beautiful night. We missed you on the main. While Kurt was watching his new baby, our captain, on the other hand, thought he was having one. Edd, there is a big difference in 10 centimeters and a 5 millimeter stone. Do the metric conversions, and get out here. 5 millimeters is not that big. Tough it out! (Captain’s note: It was smaller than 5, but damn!)

Short on crew, we sent Ensign Patty on a mission to borrow Frolic crew in the club bar. This was an exceedingly dangerous mission as the Frolic crew had already commenced drinking (go figure.) Patty showed great negotiating skills persuading Frolic Crewman Tune to come race, by dragging him down the dock by a short sensitive appendage. The funny thing was he looked as if it was a common occurrence, to be dragged around in that manner.

With winds out of the Southeast, we had an F-in course. That’s mark F and back. We were at the line early, and had a not-so-great start, but we were finally racing in the 2003 season. Enterprise was pointing lower than the entire fleet. As we watched the entire fleet pull away, we realized something was wrong. Richard did get a handle on sailing with the new mast, sans windex, and got us back into the race.

After one really bad tack, we rounded the mark in third, just behind Neverland Express. The spinnaker set was without incident, and we passed Neverland just after a flawless spinnaker jibe. Thank you Martin, it was one of the few times I didn’t almost get my head taken off by the pole. Lefty was quiet throughout the evening, but never as much so as when she was hiding behind the main as we passed Neverland. I don’t think the Romulan spotted you Lefty but you can never tell. Better safe than sorry.

We finished second just behind Tolo, and promptly corrected into last place. On corrected time, the entire division finished within two minutes, so it looks like it will be a competitive season.

Richard sailed Enterprise to the mooring and it was pleasant not hearing the diesel impulse drive. Jory caught the mooring flawlessly, but unfortunately it was the wrong one. It appears Richard has been away so long he doesn’t even remember where home is.

Once on the right mooring, we sat down to hard salami and cheese thanks to former Ensign Sushi. We were debating new names for Mitch, but decided Lieutenant Hard Salami just was too long, and Seaman Salami was just wrong in too many ways. As for events in the club afterward, I will have to defer to other crew, as I went home early to practice spousal management techniques.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10338.9
With almost a full crew on board (we’ll go into that in a bit,) the Enterprise was ready for its first race of the season. Unfortunately, the wind never went above 3 knots, which made the evening almost as disappointing as the sequel to The Matrix.

Lt. Mitch was just happy not to be on board the USS Eagle, wind or no wind.

I’m still impressed with the management skills of Dave and Kurt, who were both on board and ready to go boldly despite having two newborns. Kurt, however, did note that his bride was still in the hospital, so no management was needed. He also added next week may be a problem. Dave: show Kurt how it’s done. And while you’re at it, give Ensign Butler and Richard a lesson or two.

That’s right, Richard was a no-show. His claim was some sort of real estate inspection in New Jersey, but we believe he was home biting his fingernails to see if all his votes for Clay were effective against Ruben – and they apparently weren’t.

I’d go into Brad, but I think it’s more of an event when he shows rather than when he doesn’t.

On board, Ensign Lefty was very happy that there is someone else in the world (Ensign Hilde) that pronounces “catamaran” like she does - cahhtahhmahhrahhn, and Lt. Commander Jory celebrated the start of another season with a bigger, and bolder, black and white cookie.

A special commendation goes out to Ensign Patty for her dedication to her Starfleet duty. It seems that the safety of everything from her boyfriend’s fish to a visiting friend from out of town are all secondary to getting to the ship on time. The end result: she made it on time, the fish is dead, and even though we don’t know what happened to the friend she left stranded in the East Village, we think she’s been sold to into white slavery and at present is chained up in a cargo container on a ship in the Atlantic Ocean.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10337.0
Last night, several crew members of the Enterprise joined me in orbit for the final rigging and tuning of the ship. Even though the first race of the series was being run less than a mile away, and despite how much each of would have preferred to have participated, I must say it was a great feeling being back together with everyone on the water.

Missing from this first night was Ensign Hilde, who had to make an emergency trip to Belgium (doesn’t it suck when you run out of waffles?); Lt. Kurt, whose wife can’t decide whether or not she wants to be in labor; Commander Richard, who maintains we’ll see more of him this year (perhaps, as Dave put it, a photograph in the cabin); Big Ensign John, who thought there was a little too much chill in the air; and Ensign Brad, whose failure to show had everyone amazed and in a state of disbelief – Not.

Mitch and Jory did an amazing job tightening the rig while Dave reconnected the lifelines, did some wiring and helped with the new genoa sheets. Patty helped me with the main and Lefty did everything she could to keep her uterus from falling out (it’s a long story and there’s only so many megabytes of storage in this log.)

I also want to make it a point to note in the log a double congratulations for Commander Dave. Not only is Dave the proud papa of a new cadet, but he has mastered his management skills and was back on the ship in less than a week.

Back in the club, we had dinner, heard about USS Frolic’s numerous malfunctions during the race and some of the crew explored Patty’s nipple-toy fantasy (I missed most of it, but I couldn’t make it up if I tried.) It looks like it’ll be another season of friends, laughter and great sailing.

We’re back.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10333.4
It’s hard to believe, but the days are getting longer, the snow has melted and (I believe) the Enterprise has been launched for another adventurous season of boldly sailing the final frontier.

A special commendation goes out to Lt. Commander Jory for helping Richard out last weekend with some final work on the hull and changing the oil while I was on the west coast on business.

Meanwhile, Commander Dave’s newest cadet is about to make a debut, but, during it all, he was able to secure a new Ensign for the ship that, according to him, has enough upper body strength that it’s making me rethink the necessity for winches. It looks like Dave and Jory may be getting some rest. Welcome aboard Ensign John.

Ensign Patty was also scouting for new crew, but I’m not sure if “he’s a friend of Becky’s and he’s really cute” cuts the mustard for the flagship of the Federation.

Finally, Lt. Laura has temporarily returned to our sector from the planet Canada to drink New York beer, sell off her shuttlecraft, and systematically infect the crew of the USS Frolic with enough SARS to put the CDC on high alert. Welcome back, Laura.

The crew party is scheduled for this Wednesday. Shortly after that, we’ll have a shakedown cruise before officially beginning our racing season.