Captain’s Log: Stardate 10348.5
I have to admit, I wasn’t expecting much of a race last night. The outdoor thermometer gauge on my shuttlecraft was nearing 100 degrees and I had serious doubts there would be enough wind to run a race. But, to our surprise, the wind was blowing 10mph out of the North. The crew, without Commander Richard, worked hard to prepare the ship for the mission that faced us.

Our start put us in first place, right at the pin (where we wanted to be) and we never looked back. Fast tacks followed by an error-free spinnaker set increased the distance between us and the number two boat, the Klingon warship Neverland Express (Yes, it’s a gay name, but after all, the ship is yellow.)

Ensign Patty, who later admitted that she sucked at everything she did last night, did her best at handling the guy, while Lieutenant Mitch’s sheeting skills have vastly improved. We sped out of the bay at Warp 5.3, leaving the Klingons in the dust.

The take-down was going to be tricky. The chute would have to come down fast so that the Enterprise could jibe and round up hard around the mark. We were all primed and ready, but when it came time for Patty to blow the guy. . . Well, let’s just say it didn’t have the payoff we were expecting. Frustrating.

Commander Dave, forgetting about the whole jibe-and-hardening-up plan, wasn’t able to get the pole down in time and we lost a few seconds as things had to be resolved. The Klingons didn’t gain any ground, and our return to tacking excellence destroyed any hopes of their victory. For the first time this season (and I doubt it will be the last,) the Enterprise won.

We sailed back to spacedock, where Patty just couldn’t wait to get her hands on Mitch’s salami while Ensign Lefty managed to locate Belgium chocolate and black & white cookies.

Elsewhere in the quadrant, Commander Richard finalized the deal on Starbase Two, a New Jersey beach house. Plans are already in the works for a weekend voyage on the Enterprise. Sailing, swimming, beach, tennis. Why come home?

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10346.6
The winds for last night’s race barely gusted beyond 2 knots, canceling the evening’s race and forcing us to engage the impulse drive to drift around the life-less fleet for an hour. The two highlights were that it didn’t rain and we weren’t at work.

Commander Richard checked the rig and made some adjustments while Lieutenant Mitch ran queries through our onboard M5 computer (a/k/a Kurt) on how to make illegal copies of DVD movies. Ensign Lefty ate a half pound of chocolate (thereby doubling her body weight) while the always-hungry Ensign Patty waited for Mitch to whip out his salami.

Speaking of which, Commander Dave and Lt. Commander Jory are now referring to Mitch as “Seaman Salami,” which is just so wrong on so many levels. Nevertheless, Mitch did not produce salami as was on the past weekend, but his healthy supply of Sushi. The always-hungry Ensign Patty (Tune, don’t you ever feed this girl?) dug right in.

Also on board, from the still-flightless USS Eagle, was Bill. We’re all beginning to wonder if Eagle will ever get clear of her “Bivona’d” status. Either way, Bill has a home on the Enterprise if he wants it.

We returned to the club where conversations ran from fish size to anal leakage to the fact that Rogaine will grow hair on your butt (perhaps a cure for anal leakage.) We were all surprised at how much Kurt knew about anal leakage and the gluteus maximus effects of Rogaine, and, against my advice, Kurt did manage to bring his mother into that topic.

Meanwhile, I have notified the proper authorities regarding evidence that Jonathan has somehow manipulated his DNA and cloned himself into Lefty. Then again, we’ve never seen Jonathan and Lefty in the same place, and, if memory serves, Jonathan disappeared a year or two before Lefty joined us….

Scratch that. Even in the 23rd Century, no plastic surgeon could be that good.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10345.8
This past weekend, Commander Dave, Commander Richard, Lt. Commander Jory, Lieutenant Mitch, Ensign Patty and I entered the Enterprise (powered solely by light winds and hard salami) in the first day race of the season, this one hosted by North Shore Yacht Club.

The divisions were small (and so was the committee boat,) but after a fantastic start and a few legs through western Long Island Sound, we finished first in our division. Our new warp drive was working well, and we spent the remainder of the afternoon making fine adjustments to the rig so as to make sure we’ll be running at peak efficiency on Wednesday Night.

Also during these tuning tacks, the crew decided to switch positions for a while with Patty accepting the role of chief headsail grinder. I think we all got a kick out of watching her attempt to grind in the headsail, using both hands, and at speeds that made us fully appreciate the work that Dave and Jory do on a Wednesday night. I wouldn’t say she was slow, but she may be a contender for the Special Olympics sailing team (Canada’s team, of course.)

Mitch took the conn for all of five minutes, which seemed to make the crew appreciate the work that I do on a Wednesday night – Mitch included.

Elsewhere in the fleet, Captain Hubbard has assumed command of the brand-new USS Exhilaration, a very fast X-Class starship. Hubbard and his crew transported to the Stamford system this past weekend and brought the ship into our orbit. We’re all looking forward to seeing the Exhilaration on the water.

And finally, we want to wish Ensign Lefty a happy birthday. She says she’s 30 now, but the rest of us are convinced that she’s now finally old enough to get a driving learner’s permit.

Plans are “in the works” for a crew get-together on shore to review sail trim and consume pizza.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10344.7
It looked like it was going to be our night last night. With medium breeze, a great start and an upwind leg that left our competition in the proverbial dust, it was looking like a sure victory for the Enterprise. Then, with only a mile or so to go to the finish, we were trapped in a black hole of windless air. Starships all around us (including Robin Ricca’s Soverel-Class USS Phoenix – nice) were paralyzed and drifting in the half knot of tidal current.

The USS Frolic, on her final mission, mistakenly made the right move by sailing far away from the projected course and luckily found enough of a breeze to propel her to victory. Not a bad way to end a ship’s career.

As of last night, Captain Ohstrom has assumed command of the Ranger-Class starship USS Hub Bub, which is to be decommissioned and renamed to the USS Exuberance (initial reports of “USS Fluffy” or “USS Basket of Puppies” were inaccurate, and frankly, after “Frolic,” going with a gay-er name wasn’t the direction that Star Fleet wanted to take.) Congratulations to Jeff and his crew.

Captain Hubbard will be assuming command of a new X-Class starship this weekend, and thereby moving out of our division. Congratulations to him as well. (Should EBYRA bring back the Shoe Award?)

Meanwhile, on the Enterprise, I was very impressed with the crew’s handling of our new warp drive and their attention to tactical details on the water. I can’t remember how long it has been since more than two people were paying attention to wind channels, sail shape and current. I believe we’re showing signs of teamwork and enhanced ability that can only take us to better places.

Missing from last night’s mission was Ensign Brad (insert false gasp of disbelief here,) Ensign Lefty (who missed some bars of Belgium chocolate from Trader Joe’s – Sorry Lefty. It’s all gone) and Ensign Hilde (who had a shuttlecraft accident that reportedly had her searching the pavement for pieces of her brain afterwards – like brains are needed for yacht racing anyway.)

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10343.8
Yesterday’s mission began with an subspace message from the USS Frolic’s Martin Tune to our Ensign Patty stating something along the lines of how they were going to beat the “geeky little tub” for that evening’s race. Patty assumed that he meant the Enterprise, but the rest of the crew thought otherwise.

Nevertheless, when the wind tripled, lightning flashed and the rain came pouring down, it was Mr. Tune and his Frolic-ing friends that wimpingly ran home to mommy. The Enterprise, along with several other boats in our division, pressed onwards through the storm in what probably was the most exciting race of the season.

I must say, I was exceedingly impressed with the crew’s ability and teamwork during two sail changes and stormy seas. Joining us for the one night of adventure was Ensign Bill from the USS Eagle, whom we are trying to get transferred to the Enterprise (keep hitting those rocks, Ernie) and Lt. Laura, who took a shuttle in from Planet Canada for a few days so she could once again experience the thrills of yacht racing and the luxury of working plumbing. Laura mentioned she was only going to be on as an observer, but we put her to work anyway in hopes of cracking another rib.

Commander Dave and Lt. Commander Jory did an exceptional job of managing the foredeck and sail changes (there were two,) leaving me to concentrate on the start, the course, and the nasty weather. Lt. Mitch was a big help during the start, and the Enterprise was first over the line at the favored end -- awesome. During the race, however, Mitch was convinced that God was only making it storm during our upwind legs.

Patty kept on the look-out for other vessels in the dark waters, Hilde always kept her cool (and was loving every minute of it,) Kurt was trying to remember the difference between the traveler and the sheet, and Lefty went into the history books as the most ineffective boom jibe preventer (one good wind shift and she would have been catapulted to Long Island.)

After finishing the five-leg race, we returned to the club where I handed out the new crew uniforms, causing waves of jealousy from the other boats. Speaking of other boats, it looks like Captains Ohstrom and Hubbard are moving on to bigger and faster starships, leading to the decommissioning of the USS Frolic. Things should be firmed up within the next week or two.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10342.2
It’s certainly been a bad week, and I’m pleased to report I will now, finally, be able to resume command of the ship. From the beginning of my Star Fleet Academy training, I was warned of the dangers that one can face. Unfortunately, it wasn’t Klingons or Romulans that kept me out of commission for so long, but rather an asteroid (which felt more like a moon) traveling from my kidney to my bladder. After several days of pain, fever, vomiting, three visits to the doctor and finishing off this morning in the emergency room, all systems appear to be functioning properly, and the plumbing is flowing smoothly. The emails from the crew wishing me a speedy recovery were thoughtful and touching.

The crew, recovering from their performance in last week’s adventure, will be happy to know that this is the week that they will receive their new uniforms and that a new windex has been installed on the mast. I’ll also be bringing a few surprises along.

Speaking of surprises, I received a subspace transmission and it looks like a long lost Lieutenant will be making a one-week return to the Enterprise. Meanwhile, I’m polling the crew for who’s available for the North Shore Yacht Club Day Race on the 14th.

I can’t wait to get back on the water.