Captain’s Log: Stardate 10358.1
With extremely light winds (and getting lighter by the minute,) the Enterprise focused almost all of its energy on tactical scanners. If a race was to be won tonight, it would be won by following the wind, playing the currents and the ability of the crew to do their jobs without error.

Commander Richard, after reviewing other starship movements in the sector, decided on a course that would take us close to Throgs Neck, to boldly find what little wind there was on the water – where no starship has gone before (well, last night anyway.)

It paid off. Big time. The Klingons tried to follow our successful maneuver, but couldn’t do it in time to make a real difference in their performance. Going their own way, the USS Tolo, the USS Ear-Cheese, and the Evil Hairy Horta were left so far behind that they had to engage their impulse engines and drop out of the race. The Klingons were able to finish, however, with just 80 seconds to spare on the time limit, and placing them in second well behind the Enterprise.

After the race, and because Lefty couldn’t make it, we all had ice cream sundaes and Patty made advances on three tugboat sailors.

Because we were short on crew, a high-priority subspace message went out to Ensign Brad, calling him to duty. That message went unanswered. It seems that Brad is more interested in acting than sailing and at last report, was looking to join the William Shatner School of Acting (lots of hand/arm movements, un-natural pauses in speech and a day-long discussion panel on how to play a spaceship captain and a Los Angeles cop in the same style and make money doing it.) Starfleet Command has ordered Brad stripped of his officer status and downgraded to the guy who cleans the warp drive manifolds. One more no-show and he’ll be downgraded further to the guy that shaves the sweaty three pounds of hair from the Evil Hairy Horta’s back.

One final note about last night’s race: It seems that Captain Bivona and the crew of the USS Eagle should be commended. Last night, the Eagle tied for first place in her division. Then again, all the boats in her division couldn’t finish the race in time and were all tied with a score of “DNF.” Oh well.