Captain’s Log: Stardate 10362.7
Today, the Enterprise finished in what we believe to be second place after racing for over 14 hours in the CIYC Distance Race. The ship and her crew performed exceptionally well in a variety of weather conditions. And, it during this race, when I realized one thing.

We’re a bunch of perverts.

One would think that this realization would come to light after all the “in-your-end-o” in this captain’s log, the consumption of two butt-cakes, the search for Tune-spooge in the v-berth, or the following of the exploits of Lt. Laura skinny-dipping with Bob Vila.

But it was when Lt. Mitch decided to consume a dark chocolate penis while seeing just how much reflection he could get when aiming a laser pen light at Lefty while she wore silver spandex pants that pretty much sent us over the edge.

Right now, Lt. Kurt, Commander Richard and Ensign Hilde are saying “Wha-?” As creative as I like to think I am, I couldn’t make this stuff up in a million years.

Let’s digress, shall we? The race started in very light winds followed by some frustrating sail configuration changes and almost getting run over by 80 or so speedboats. The wind finally increased some and it was a pleasant day sail to the first and only mark.

Right before reaching the first mark, a storm system came through that had me suggesting “What do you guys think about a sail change?” to screaming “Get that sail down now!” in a matter of seconds. The winds kicked up over 30 and the Enterprise was moving at Warp 7 on the main alone. Elsewhere, the USS Phoenix broached – Thankfully no one was hurt.

The crew thought the mark rounding was disappointing. Well, not so much the rounding, but the mark itself. After sailing for a full day, we were hoping for something a lttle more extravagant than a red buoy covered with seagull shit. Ah, the opulence of yacht racing.

The crew took turns on the helm and we passed the entire spinnaker division that started ahead of us tacking up the Sound. Dinner was well-received, Lefty got a good look at some tugboats, and we were able to come up with a true test to see of MarTune really loves Patty.

We passed Execution light and the wind clocked down to a tenth of a knot – in fact, it took us over 2 and a half hours to finish from there. The USS Exuberance, on her maiden race voyage, had to engage their impulse drive to avoid a barge (all after 13 hours of racing – ouch!) while the USS Tolo did their impression of New York City just a couple days before (a complete loss of power.)

We finished around two in the morning, and I’m extremely thankful and proud of the crew and their performance (at least those that showed up.)