Captain’s Log: Stardate 10365.8
It’s been a while since I’ve made an entry in the log, mostly due to the hectic days around Star Fleet Command (work.) Anyway, if one good thing can be said about last night’s race, it’s this:

For most boats, the calculation of which race to throw out involves a computer, an Excel spreadsheet and a better-than-average understanding of how both work. After last night, we don’t need no stinkin’ computers – we know exactly which race to toss. And toss it we will.

Lt. Mitch, who was to blame for our performance the week before (trying to pull down a spinnaker using the same two clews that pull 11,000 pounds of Enterprise through the water – he’s lucky he wasn’t launched into the stratosphere,) can easily be blamed for last night’s race as well by not showing up. Instead, Mitch decided he’d rahther pahk his cahr with his fahmily in Cape Cahd (which isn’t thaht fahr from Bahston.)

Replacing Mitch last night was Becky from USS Exuberance, who came to the club in her new Turbo Jetta (think “Jumbo Shrimp” or “Advanced BASIC” or “Clearly Misunderstood” or “Tight Slacks” or “Microsoft Works” or, well, you get the idea.) She did pretty well on foredeck and I believe Commander Dave found her much easier to look at than Lt. Commander Jory or Lt. Mitch.

Also on board was Ensign Lefty (who found flashlight duty far too challenging,) Lt. Kurt (whose wife told him that he’d better get home right away and he assumed on his own that this meant after sailing – nice knowing you Kurt,) the triumphant return of Ensign Hilde, and . . .

Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert! Deflectors up full! Security teams have been put on high alert and biomedical teams are standing by. There’s an alien on board originating from the Herpes Simplex galaxy and it has taken control of Ensign Patty’s lips. Don’t touch her! For heaven’s sake man, don’t kiss her! Stay clear and arm yourselves if you have to. This could be worse than the Borg!

In all honesty, Patty took quite a bit of ribbing last night and she should receive a lot of credit for, knowing the way we are, just showing up last night with that... that... thing.

Of course, the best part was when Patty said “I think I got it from my father” and then, realizing what she had just said (and to the group to which she had said it,) frantically searched the Enterprise for a time machine so she could go back a few minutes and stop herself from saying it.

With only two more races to go, the fight for second place continues on – a second throw out will do us very well. By next week, we should have our full crew back in action.