Captain’s Log: Stardate 10367.7
To be honest, we were expecting a wet and cold, cold night, but the rain held off to a light drizzle and the temperature turned out to be quite comfortable for our second-to-last Wednesday Night race of the season.

It’s hard to believe another season is drawing to a close, but we can all take comfort in knowing it’s usually during the fall racing when things are more crazed, the boat broaches and the crew gets enough black and blue regions to provide a visual reminder of the sailing season through half the winter.

Last night we had a great start, but as it usually is for the Enterprise in light winds, we were slow to accelerate coming out of each tack. Thankfully, the gay Klingon ship, Neverland Express, was even slower in tacking and seemed to be looking for the parts on the water without wind. In fact, as I left the club last night, the captain of Neverland said “Hey, Captain Kirk! You found the wind tonight.”

There is one ship in Star Fleet, however, that does perform really well in light wind, most likely because it weighs about as much as Lefty. The USS Ear-Cheese finished about 8 minutes or so behind us, but that was good enough to finish ahead on corrected time.

Now here’s the bad news: We are still in second place overall, both with and without throwouts. With throwouts, however, we are 1/1000th of a point ahead of Surcease. That’s it. It all comes down to Race 18. If there’s no race, we win. If there’s a race and Surcease doesn’t show, we win (we’ll go for a pleasure cruise – Risa anyone?) If only Surcease shows, we win (again, with a pleasure cruise and there’ll be no race.) However, if Surcease and one other boat races, we MUST beat Surcease.

Here are some ideas: 1. Put Lefty on the bow. They may drop out of the race because of fear. -or- 2. Sacrifice a virgin to the Wind Gods and get 10-15 knots of breeze at the start and then have it drop to 3 knots as we finish. Problem is; where does one find a virgin in the Bronx? I suppose Tune could have been an option, but Patty ruined that. Thanks, Patty.

Anyway, our spinnaker set was close to perfect last night, and we performed several well-executed jibes. That is, all except the last one, where it seems that both Commander Richard and Lieutenant Kurt were caught in some sort of temporal slipstream anomaly that sent them briefly to another place and time. Personally, I think Kurt was calculating how much time we would have to beat Neverland by if the crew of Neverland was eating potato chips that caused anal leakage, while Richard was wondering why his cell phone wasn’t ringing.

Lieutenant Mitch, who drove his cahr bahk from Cape Cahd with his wife Pahm, did a great job of spinnaker trim, and the bow team of Commander Dave and Lt. Commander Jory did such a great job that they should, well, take a bow.

I’ll calculate where everyone stands with throwouts over the weekend and project where we need to be next week for our final Wednesday night of the season (Lefty, that means that after next week, we’re not going to be racing on Wednesday nights.) By the way, get your VCRs ready: “Enterprise” Season 3 kicks off next week on UPN.