Captain’s Log: Stardate 10376.4
I’ve always said that I wanted to end each season with a bang, but this isn’t quite what I meant. At the start of the second race of Saturday’s Fall Series, USS Forza (one of Starfleet’s newest ships and newest captains) tacked onto port right into the Enterprise. We had a hull breach on the lower decks, and luckily the emergency force fields were activated before a complete loss of life support.

The weekend was full of fast-paced adventure, thanks to the 20+ wind speeds. Unfortunately, we spent most of Saturday waiting for the race committee to get organized and only a small fraction of the time actually racing. The time spent following the race committee boat from one side of the sound to the other, and then back again, was especially interesting. At least it gave the crew time to catch up with each other on events since the end of the Wednesday Night Race Series.

The entire crew was on board for both days, except for Ensign Lefty, who spent Saturday at a lesbian wedding listening to songs like “Push, Push In The Bush” and “Magic Carpet Ride”; Ensign Hilde, who we believe spent her Sunday committing murder and hiding behind her diplomatic immunity; and Lieutenant Kurt, who blamed his absence Sunday on his daughter being cranky – likely story. Speculation amongst the crew lead to the conclusion that after Kurt’s wife heard about the collision with Forza, she wouldn’t let him go out to see his friends anymore.

While waiting to race, crew discussion ranged from Ensign Lefty causing a rift in Mitch’s marriage, Lt. Commander Jory’s need to bulk up on black and white cookies in order to act as a better downhaul or as Ensign Patty’s pimp (who declared that she has nearly perfected sucking,) and Commander Dave’s suggestion that I start a new website to track the extra-marital conquests of Lt. Laura (the idea was not practical, as most hosting companies charge much more if you have over 700 megabytes of information posted on a site -- Nevertheless, the two slashed tires on Laura’s car last year are becoming less of a mystery.) Lt. Mitch also stated, after USS Eagle almost broached on top of us, that in order for him to stay on board, we must not sail near Ernie. “You want to play with a loaded gun, that’s fine. Just stay away from Eagle.”

The Enterprise is due to be decommissioned for the season in a week or two. Following that, which will officially mark the end of the season, I will evaluate crew performance. It was a great year and I can honestly say that with this crew, the Enterprise can weather any storm.

We go boldly.