Captain’s Log: Stardate 10430.7
Last night, a landing party consisting of myself, Commander Dave, Lt. Mitch and Lt. Patty beamed to Starbase One for a seminar on the Racing Rules of Sailing hosted by EBYRA and presented by Butch Ulmer of UK Sails.

Surrounding us were crews from other Starfleet vessels as well as some Klingons, Romulans, Andorians, and, obviously because of some breech of security, Attorneys (one of which did a particularly awful job of asking for Patty’s phone number – and I wonder if the “Can I put your name in my Palm PDA?” line has ever worked with anyone.)

Butch did a wonderful job of going over the rules for those times when multiple rules apply -- giving everyone ample knowledge of what rules prevail, what to say when and what your rights are at any given time. In other words, Commander Richard’s “Bow to Beam” command is quickly losing power as an offensive weapon.

After the seminar, we went to The-Restaurant-That-Used-To-Be-Rhodes for some dinner (Yes, they still have Roast Pork Heros!) and we had (yes, really) an engaging and topical conversation about employment trends and the education system in America. That is, until the waitress said the word “mozzarella” in a German/Italian accent that if said enough, would have us all reaching for an afterglow cigarette.

Discussion also began regarding crew positions, most specifically a new position for Ensign “Don’t Call Me Daffy” Lefty, whom I will most likely put with Dave on foredeck for skirting the sails upwind, setting up the chute downwind, and helping Dave with all foredeck responsibilities. I also want to get Ensign Hilde more involved.

The repairs to the Enterprise are coming along better than expected and the 2004 racing schedule is coming soon.

Captain's Log: Stardate 10426.0
Success! With the help of the science division, my first time travel experiment worked! While everyone slept last Saturday night, I was able to send their clocks and watches back in time one full hour!

Next fall, the experiment will continue as we try to send them forward in time. It's tricky, but we're hopeful.

Then, after some thought, we'll research the what-if-there-was-a-person-inside-the-clock-? theory.

Captain's Log: Stardate 10425.2
This may come as a surprise to you, but I've been known now and then to check out the goings on at StarTrek.com. I know, shocking. For about the past week or so, there was a section on the site with a little picture of the Enterprise NX-01 and a comment that you should check back for a news announcement on Thursday.

You see, there has been a lot of discussion here and there (and in this week's TV Guide) that Paramount is "on the fence" as to whether or not to have "Star Trek: Enterprise" on TV for a fourth season. Ratings have been down, the last film was a box-office dissapointment, and some think the franchise has, at least for now, had its run. If canceled, for the first season since the mid-80's, there won't be a first-run Star Trek series on the air.

So, yesterday, I jumped to the site to see what the big announcement was. Were they going to stick with it? Were they going to dump it? Does anyone watch anything else on UPN anyway?

Congratulations to the webmasters at StarTrek.com for pulling off the best April Fool's joke that I have ever witnessed. First, on the site, where they usually give you information on what was coming up on the next airing of "Star Trek: Enterprise" was this:


Then, I went to the news stories:

The first was about "Trekland" a new Star Trek-related theme park to be built in San Francisco in Golden Gate Park (supposedly where Star Fleet Command will be and where Kirk landed the Bird of Prey in "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home". Billed as the "Final Frontier of Fun," attractions will include the Antimatter Horn; It's a Thrall World; Orion Pirates of the Caribbean; Great Nanoseconds with Mr. Data; Captain Picard's Wild Ride; Vash Mountain; Country Targ Jamboree; Haunted Mess Hall; Janus VI Cruise; Enchanted Horga'hn Room, Main Street U.F.P.; Starfleet Tours; Morn-o-rail; Odo-pia; Harry Mudd Hatter; the U.S.S. Columbia starship; Dr. Noonien Soong's Treehouse; and the Cyrano Jones and the Tribbles of Doom Adventure.

The second was about how William Shatner, as Captain Kirk, will be joining the cast of "Star Trek: Enterprise". It starts with a time travel incident gone wrong and ends with Kirk back in time. Now with two captains onboard the Enterprise, the inevitable wackiness ensues. Because of limited space on the ship, the two captains will share quarters where one will be neat and the other messy. Shatner said he was looking forward to teaching his counterpart a few things: "Dude's gotta learn how to fight. I mean, seriously ? look at him half the time. Worst I ever got was a trickle of blood out the corner of my mouth. Also, how to score with the ladies. Definitely."

The third was about a new Star Trek series coming to the airwaves about five Klingon men, out to makeover the world, one p'tak at a time. Yes, it's the story of the va'B Five; an elite team dedicated to extolling the simple virtues of honor, tradition and style. Each week their mission is to transform an honor-deficient and culture-deprived human from weakling to warrior in each of their respective categories: fashion, cuisine, grooming, ritual and honorable living. It's a full lifestyle make-over where human guys turn in their briefcases for bat'leths, learn about bloodwine that comes in a vat, not a bottle, and come to understand why music is its most passionate at its most discordant. When the journey is done, a freshly tempered, newly enlightened, battle-ready warrior emerges. It's "Klingon Eye for the Human Guy."


Nice work, guys.