Captain’s Log: Stardate 10440.3
Normally, this log would contain a report regarding last night’s victory (albeit an undeserved one,) our new spinnaker, Ensign Hilde’s babysitter troubles, our guest crewperson Tomas, the cold air, the poorly tuned rig, and Ensign Lefty’s newfound joy in smelling Commander Dave (yes, you read that right.)

Instead, I believe last night’s events (perhaps the entire racing season) can be best summed up with Lt. Patty’s request to Commander Richard during the last moments of the second upwind leg. “Richard, let me know when you’re ready to move. I'm going to need to get a hold of that guy under your butt.”

Oh yeah. We’re back.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10439.5
This past weekend, we, including Crewman Scotty, took a shuttlecraft to the town I grew up in, Port Washington, Long Island, to see Lt. Kurt’s new home and see/meet the family. In no time at all, Scotty was chasing children around the back yard and Kurt was greeting his new neighbors with scary stories about how, unless they’re waiters, they’ll be losing their jobs to someone in India.

We’ve already seen how far they’ve come with Ferrari race cars (OK. That’s an inside joke, but I know the crew appreciated it.)

I won’t go into every detail (I’m still trying to comprehend the procreation diet theory –watch out Atkins) but it’s a very nice home filled with love and I’m sure his family will enjoy it for many, many years to come.

The funniest moment to me was Kurt’s sister heading out to the backyard and saying to her boyfriend, “Whose dog is this?”, then looking at the name tag: “Scotty. OK. It’s Edd’s dog.”

Meanwhile the crew is eager to get back to racing and we will try again on Wednesday. Supposedly, Lt. Patty will be bringing out a new female crewperson to join us this week and, when we asked what she looked like, she refused to answer and ducked all subsequent attempts. I guess then, for now, we’ll call her Crewman Quasimodo.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10438.4
Last night, sailors experienced 15-20mph winds, mid-70’s temperatures and a delightful sunset beyond the bridge . . .

Those would be the sailors in San Francisco Bay.

On Eastchester Bay, however, we had haze and a whopping 0-2mph breeze that every once in a while put a ripple or two on the water. The Enterprise was out in full force – the full crew (except Ensign Lefty – I’ll get to that,) full sails, and our brand spankin’ new spinnaker ready to go. It’s not often I get to use “spankin’” in a sentence, so any opportunity is a welcome one.

The race was cancelled.

As I mentioned, Lefty didn’t make it out, probably having something to do with this new super-secret job of hers. Someone mentioned there was something on the news about terror drills and employed “casualties,” but I get my news from Fox and The Daily Show, so what do I know? (The latter being the more respectful of the two – Fox is about as fair and balanced as Dave and Patty on a seesaw.)

After returning the Enterprise to orbit, we went to The-Restaurant-Formerly-Known-As-Rhodes for dinner where Lt. Kurt explained the importance of a firewall to Lt. Mitch (and until he gets one, Mitch’s IP address is and Lt. Patty explained to Commander Richard how much she hates her job and wants to do something else that will make her lots of money. After hearing her options, Richard offered the advice to “marry someone with lots of money.” Watch out Martin.

Ensign Hilde has finally heard back from the Belgian Officials (in Belgian, it’s pronounced “wah-phells”) and it looks like she’ll be staying in Star Fleet for at least another year.

As lastly, we heard back from Lt. Laura who was not totally pleased with being referred to as beach-ball sized in the Captain’s Log. She did send out photos of herself to the crew, which I admit I haven’t seen yet, but apparently she’s gotten so big that (true) both Commander Richard and Lt. Patty were complaining that the image wouldn’t fit on their 800X600 desktops and they had to keep scrolling and scrolling in order to see more of her.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10436.4
Last night, Commander Dave, Lt. Mitch and myself beamed over to Morris Yacht and Beach Club for the annual EBYRA Skippers Meeting and Crew Party despite the terrible weather that flooded and nearly closed just about every parkway that includes the name “river” or “brook” in its name (Sprain Brook, Bronx River, Harlem River, Saw Mill River, Hutchinson River, and so on, and so on, and so on . . .)

Kudos to Lt. Mitch for demonstrating his management skills and attending on his wife’s birthday. This, by far, puts Lt. Kurt’s “My wife’s not quite ready for Wednesdays yet” excuse in the “Wha?” category of excuses.

The meeting went well, if I don’t say so myself (I hosted.) Thanks to the work of the rest of the EBYRA Board, there weren’t many changes to report, so things were kept short and sweet. Our various sponsors got their share of applause (more for Mount Gay Rum and Ricca Auto Body for buying a keg) and the new charts with sailing instructions were distributed to all in attendance. I’m told we have over 65 boats registered, so it looks like it’ll be another great season of racing.

Speaking of which, we start racing this Wednesday, the 19th. That’s the 19th of May. This Wednesday. The day after Tuesday. Six Days from Now.

That is, if the Enterprise gets launched in time. The passing weather the last few days has included quite a bit of surface to ground lightning – keeping the Enterprise and all other starships ready for launch on hold. We are next and I assume, winds being light and variable, that the Enterprise will be launched today. I will verify as the day goes on.

Assuming it does, I will be on board this Sunday, the 16th, to do some rigging, wiring and clean up. The crew is therefore also invited to help and to join in a practice cruise before we start racing just a few days later. Figure a morning start, everyone.

Not showing (insert your gasp of surprise here) will most likely be Commander Richard, who has already notified me that he (insert a second gasp of surprise here) can’t make Race 2 or 3 of Wednesday Nights due to a prior engagement with (OK, this is the last gasp of surprise now) Marcy. Oh boy. Here we go.

Meanwhile, I received an email from beachball-belly-sized Lt. Laura from Planet Canada, who finally admits to reading the Captain’s Log and getting depressed that we’re having so much fun without her. It’s true that last year nobody has sat on anyone’s birthday cake and that nobody came up from down below soaking wet from a toilet water splash and that nobody went skinny dipping with men older than, oh I don’t know, Noah, but we did have a great time and I expect more of the same.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10433.7
With only a few weeks to go to the start of our racing season, the crew of the Enterprise came out in close to full force for the annual spring work party refit. Starting early and finishing around six in the evening, we broke off into teams to get the required work done.

Working on the hull above the waterline and inside the cabin, Lt. Patty and Ensign Hilde cleaned things up and touched up the Star Fleet markings. Patty asked me how good do I want the markings to be, to which I replied, “We are the flagship of the Federation.” She understood.

Commander Richard worked on the impulse drive and then installed the new boom vang using just-replaced spinnaker parts.

Commander Dave and Lt. Mitch installed new topping lift hardware and went to work installing the new NAVMAN instruments, replacing the malfunctioning (and apparently bankrupt) NEXUS ones. I guess I should have known better going with a company named after a place where nothing is real (Star Trek: Generations.) The NAVMANs are proving to be a tricky installation, but with a little more wiring and an expert transducer installation, I believe we’ll be much better off.

Lt. Kurt and I went to work on the bottom, applying several coats of Micron CSC to the Enterprise hull so she would glide easier through space.

Missing the fun was Commander Jory (his subspace receiver was down and didn’t know that this was the date) and Ensign Lefty, whom had to prepare for a birthday party. Patty did mention that Lefty has a new job, but that the position is considered top secret. We pressed for details, but Patty said nothing besides having to do with security. If she means Homeland Security, I’m moving to Canada.

Maybe with another half-day’s work, the Enterprise will be ready to launch for return to active duty. Meanwhile, I hope to see the entire crew for the Skippers meeting and crew party on the 12th.