Captain’s Log: Stardate 10555.3
I was really hoping it would be I that was going to ruin En Garde’s evening. At the start of last night’s race, I saw an opportunity, with the speed of the Enterprise, to duck below En Garde’s stern, establish an overlap and push him over the starting line. And with his 9-ish-year-old son on board waving to us, we did just that.

On the wrong side of the line with 3 seconds to go, they has no choice but to spin around. After all, it was one of En Garde’s crew that was talking shit to Lt. Kurt in church a few weeks ago and “En Garde” is French for “Prepare yourself. I’m about to fuck you up” (apparently a phrase never used during wartime, but then again, if it would have been, probably not the best tactical move to warn your opponent ahead of time.)

Was it a nasty thing for us to do? Sure. But as Lewis Black says, only the good die young, and pricks live forever.

But, instead, it was Choucas that did the deed for En Garde’s evening. At the leeward mark, Choucas slammed into En Garde causing several thousand dollars of damage. We heard lots of screaming and a loud smash. The captain of Choucas, a Frenchman, probably never yelled out “En Garde!” before he hit En Garde. How’s that for irony?

Then again, the captain of Choucas is also known in the quadrant as The Terrorist.

But on to our race: With a great start, our upwind leg was close to flawless. Fast tacks, boats ducking behind us, we rounded the upwind mark in great position and with a cluster of boats from our division.

But the spinnaker wasn’t ready (it was a short upwind leg) so we didn’t hoist in a timely fashion. Once up, I went on the right side of the course hoping, as did Wuestwind, to find some air that the rest of the fleet wouldn’t find. After a bad jibe and a wind shift, our fate was sealed. In the end, I should have stayed with the fleet and did MANY more jibes.

Our last upwind leg was perfect. Nice breeze. Sunset. Just glorious.

Missing from the evening was Commander Jory and Ensigns Phil, Ryan and Sidney. Jory had a test to study for, Phil was in Florida, no word from Ryan, and Sidney, for some strange reason, decided he’d rather photograph lingerie models than sail. We were short-staffed. Lt. Patty, formerly of the Enterprise but now serving on USS Exuberance, did join us and was a big help with, you guessed it, blowing the guy.