Captain’s Log: Stardate 10560.3
There were two orders I gave this weekend that really made me feel good. The first was on Sunday morning. We had just arrived at the starting area for the CIYC Day Race and there was no wind in sight. After spending the last several days inundated with work and getting about three hours of sleep a night, I said “Lt. Jory, you have the conn. I’ll be in my quarters.” And sure enough, Jory took over and I got some much needed rest in my cabin. Heaven.

It was during that rest that USS Eagle and USS Exuberance launched a surprise attack on the Enterprise with small water cannons. With zero damage and a little moisture, they left. I awoke and made my way back up to the bridge. We started the impulse drive and did a wide, slow turn at one-quarter impulse power towards Eagle. Commanders Dave and Jory armed the Photon Bucket Torpedoes and stood ready. Our speed was slow enough to look like we were drifting – all part of my tactics. At about five boat lengths, we went to red alert, targeted Eagle and went to full impulse power. Eagle couldn’t get away fast enough and we fired several times, hard.

We then turned towards the unsuspecting Exuberance whose impulse power was off completely. We did several high-speed runs, unleashing the awesome firepower of the Enterprise onto their crew. That’s where the second order came into play. “Lock all weapons on the girl with the pink top – and use the coldest water you can! Use ice if you have to! Fire!” And, of course, the intrepid crew of the Enterprise did as they were told. It was quite a sight (or a couple of sights, depending on how you look at.)

The day before, Saturday, we had the Women Skipper’s Race where Lt. Patty took the conn of the Enterprise. Note to Roche Pharmaceuticals USA: Please manufacture more Valium – you’re out. I swallowed about 6 bottles alone when I asked Patty to tack to avoid a collision when, instead, she decided to turn the boat towards the collision. I saw my entire life flash before my eyes and wasn’t too crazy about the ending. Luckily, the other boat avoided too and the disaster was averted. Still, it was a fun race and we’ll never forget when changing direction downwind, the command changed from “Jibe Ho!” to “Ho Jibing!”

The Day Race on Sunday did finally get going, but the winds were too light for our starship and the course choice left us with very few tactical choices (one tack and one jibe.) Not a great job by the committee.