Captain's Log: Stardate 10561.4
Today, after sending out the protest committee findings regarding the collision between Choucas and En Garde, I received a message from the Suliban captain of Choucas. For the sake of posterity, I am including his message (with spelling and grammar corrections made), as well as my reply, below:


The Message:


You might not be able to find the time to write a protest committee ruling in a timely fashion, but you seem to be finding plenty of time to write a Captain's log full of derogatory comments on your fellow sailing competitors.

One example from your log relating to the Race 9 incident, you write, amongst other nasty comments: "the captain of Choucas is also known in the quadrant as The Terrorist" Such a statement is insulting and of poor taste. In my view, you do not have the decency necessary to serve as the chairman of EBYRA.

Fred, Captain of Choucas

PS. I also would like to add that there are many countries in the world with french speaking of them is Switzerland.


And my reply:


First and foremost, the Enterprise Captain's Log is not an official EBYRA communication outlet and is generally perceived, and correctly so, as a satirical view of happenings on board my boat as well as the events in Eastchester Bay. The log has never once interfered with my ability, as Commodore, to effectively govern the Eastchester Bay Yacht Racing Association.

The entry you are referring to was written before the hearing and before any facts were found. and, it takes far less time, or concentration, to write a couple of funny paragraphs than to write a five-page synopsis of witness testimony, rules, findings and rulings.

And, while I was not the one who started the "terrorist" nickname (it began in 2002 when you, officially, as a representative of the interests of Stuyvesant Yacht Club, adamantly refused an inclusion in the Sailing Instructions that on September 11, 2002, the one-year anniversary of the terrorist attack on New York City, that all boats are suggested (not required -- suggested) to fly an American flag for the duration of the race) it should be noted that nobody has ever taken the comments in the Log seriously. Nobody actually believes you are a terrorist -- as much as nobody actually believes that Vince Nanni really is a Pope, that Robin Ricca is really a lost member of the Bee Gees, that the crew of Neverland Express are really gay Klingons, that Norm of Tolo really wants to kick Kevin of Surcease in the balls, that one of my crew has sex with goats, that Sandy Wolf is a "Hairy Horta", or that a former female Canadian crewperson of mine was really some sort of super-charged turbo-slut.

Lighten up. Even you have to admit the comment in the Log about the irony of a French-speaking person not yelling out "En Garde!" before hitting En Garde was funny.

Nevertheless, if you believe that I do not have the decency to serve as EBYRA Commodore, I respect your right to express your opinion as it is every person's right in this country. Please feel free to express your views to your club's representative so that the next time there is an election, your name can be entered on the ballot as a new Commodore. Good luck with that.

Finally, as for your PS comment -- I'm not really sure of the point you're trying to make. I guess congratulations are in order for the whole Switzerland thing.

Let's put this behind us, get back to racing and have some fun. The season's going by at Warp Speed.

All the best,

Edd Schillay
Captain of the Starship Enterprise