Captain’s Log: Stardate 10576.4
It is with deep regret that I have to report the cancellation of the Fall Series, thereby ending the racing season for our new Enterprise. Despite our troubles, we have been learning a great deal and, with the addition of our new sail next year, hope to do much better.

Still, I’m proud to say that we did win one trophy this year and it was in no way an easy one to win. This November, we’ll be picking up our second place for the CIYC Distance Race.

We say farewell to Lt. Kurt, who will be moving out to the West Coast and flat-out refuses to use Jet Blue to fly back here on Wednesday Nights. On more than one occasion, Kurt’s been referred to as my “Spock,” always calculating Time on Time factors on the water as well as knowing all the facts about any subject ranging from the breaking strengths of Kevlar, Spectra and Pentex to anal leakage studies of low-fat potato chips. To this day, I still can’t figure out just how Kurt knows that Mitch has had sex with goats nor what happened between them that he’d want to make that information public. I hope Kurt continues to sail and we wish him the very best. He will be greatly missed.

We also say farewell to Ensign Phil, who apparently has proven the existence of a black hole by falling into one. Phil disappeared about two months ago and hasn’t been heard from since.

Lastly, we say goodbye (did we ever say hello?) to Ensign Sharon, who supposedly wanted to come racing, but doesn’t get out of work until after seven and apparently doesn’t go out on weekends. So much for that idea.

We say hello to Crewman Ozzy, back from Sri Lanka and ready to race again. Ozzy reports that he’d love to do more pleasure sailing and he has legions (that was his word) of lady friends that want to come out too. Ozzy, with that attitude, you’ll make Commander in no time.

Why Crewman and not Ensign? As of now, all beginners will be given the rank of Crewman and must “stick to it” in order to be given an officer’s rank.

And speaking of rank, it is my pleasure to announce the promotion of Mitch to Lieutenant Commander. Mitch has proven himself to be an important part of the crew and always willing to learn new things about racing. He would have been bumped to Commander, but his all-too-personal questions about my mast bend and the absence of sushi this season has kept him from the “higher ranks.” Nevertheless, he has shown the dedication and ability that embodies the spirit of Starfleet and its flagship, the Starship Enterprise.