Captain’s Log: Stardate 10649.3
“Damn Edd, was that you on foredeck last night?” asked Paul, the Captain of Andiamo, seemingly amazed at the prospect of it all.

“Yeah, that was me.”

He laughed. “Were you the one doing all that yelling? What was all that about?”

OK. That was me too. And apparently, I could be heard from midtown Manhattan to Northport Harbor. Tangled lines, lazy guys that were never lazy, and a jibe that would limit my ability to count to ten made for a frustrating event on the foredeck.

And then a takedown that went so badly, no writing here could do it justice. Let’s just say someone mistook “blow the sheet” for “ease it 15 feet and then hold on tight.” As my feet were lifting off the deck, I realized I may be the first starship captain to be launched into space at Warp 1 without a starship.

It was a bold attempt by the crew to make me believe that they had no clue what they were doing back there. But, I’m smarter than that.

Clearly, Commander Dave, knowing I’d be the only one left on board that could possibly do foredeck, had a discussion with the crew before leaving on vacation, giving them precise instructions on what to ease and what not to. Instructions that included things like “the downhaul is optional – the person on foredeck can hold the pole down if needed” and “don’t wait for any signal before hauling in the new guy tight during a jibe.” Dave wanted to make sure that his talents on foredeck were to be appreciated throughout time.

I almost bought into it, but knew something was up when Richard, at the helm, was focusing his gaze on a knot in the jib sheets instead of the fleet of J-24’s crossing tacks with us.

That, plus I could swear I heard a discussion back in the cockpit along the lines of “does a person really need all ten fingers?” and “If the chute can propel a 18,000-pound boat through the water, what can it do to a 260-pound man?”

Nice try everyone. I’ll deal with Dave when he gets back.

He better get back soon.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10647.4
Instead of racing last night, we took the Enterprise into Manhasset Bay for some tuning and crew training. Tacks, Sets and Jibes, oh my.

It was all, for the most part, to try and get the crew to familiarize themselves with different positions on the Enterprise in anticipation for some upcoming vacation time (wholly unauthorized, but they’re going nonetheless.) Next week, Commander Dave will trade in his foredeck duty for a set of Mickey Mouse ears and a pool of sweat waiting in line for Space Mountain as he takes his kids to Disney in Orlando. Happiest place on earth, my ass. Not sure yet what we’ll do, but (and this is a warning to all other ships in the quadrant) I may give Richard the helm and handle the foredeck myself. Let’s just hope he doesn’t lose another contact lens.

Lt. Kurt, returning for just this night and clearly making a concentrated effort to try to remove my father’s head during jibes, will also be gone for at least the next two weeks for some sort of business trip to Amsterdam. It’s hard to imagine Spock in a land where marijuana and prostitution is legal and he may be coming back a changed man (assuming he comes back at all.)

We moved Ensign Jonathan to the line control center, setting up lines as well as handling the downhaul and topping lift and moved Yeoman Phaedra (who will also be gone for a bit sailing a C&C 39 from Maine to Annapolis – she’s cheating on us with another C&C) to the genoa release position.

On the way back, I gave the conn to Ensign Zoraida who took us on a rather unique wavy course home. Apparently she has a hard time distinguishing the Empire State Building from the town of Little Neck. Yet, she only yelled out ¡Ay dios mio! (Klingon for “I’m not comfortable with this”) only a few times when the Enterprise accelerated beyond Warp 7 and a close encounter with a barge. She did fine. I did notice afterwards that Zoraida has downgraded the snack delivery from fresh-baked pastries to store-bought Pepperidge Farm. At this rate, I figure we’ll be munching on stale no-name Oreo knock-offs packaged in 1972 by the time we reach Race 18.

Our impulse engines malfunctioned so we sailed back home. All in all, a great, great night.


Captain’s Log: Supplemental
I noticed on the Sailing Anarchy site some more comments aimed towards “Capt. Kirk” which I can only assume is me (although the Captain of the Enterprise-B was named John Harriman, but I digress.) There was some talk made by someone named “Espo” about my decision to cancel Saturday’s races of the City Island Cup because the breeze was steady 25 with gusts up to 30. Only three boats showed that day, one of which was “hiding” in the lee of City Island and Espo apparently thought it would be better to run the race anyway thereby ruining the series for those that didn’t show because of the high winds. Let’s add to the equation that in wind like that, gear gets broken and crew can get hurt. The last thing I need as a race organizer is to be a named defendant.

We ran four races on Sunday in 20-25 and it was a blast. I’d do it again the same way.

And for the record, Espo’s boat, Hustler, was the first to drop out – even before Saturday’s winds. Must have seen the forecast.

Of course, Espo is a great sailor and probably the best on Long Island Sound. I’m sure his opinion is sought after time and time again. He’s the one that turned me on to Quantum as a sailmaker and I wish he’d sail with us on Enterprise so we can learn from him. He’s made statements about how EBYRA is run and I’d be delighted to have him get on the board and show us all how to do it right.

But in the meantime, and take this however you see fit, Espo is the guy I pay to wipe my bottom.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10645.5
With winds under 7 knots and from the south with 40-degree windshifts, the race committee ignored the forecasted northerly by midnight and, after changing courses twice, set a bold, long course for our division.

But, the wind shifted again and died long before we could all finish it. And as much as I love the new Enterprise, she wasn’t made to be sailing in under 2 knots of breeze. Give us 10-15 and we fly at, well, Warp Speed. It was like we dropped an anchor.

Actually, we may have went faster had we dropped an anchor.

The worst part of it all - had they been giving a trophy last night for the slowest boat, we wouldn’t have won that either. It’s so hard to be number 1.

On board for her first mission was Yeoman Phaedra (no, that’s not a Romulan name.) Phaedra seems to be right at home on the Enterprise and gets along with everyone very well. When not fulfilling her Starfleet duties, Phaedra works for the New York Times, but don’t worry. I don’t think there was anything we did last night that was newsworthy, much less fit to print. Phaedra did mention to someone that the etymology of her name comes from the Goddess of Wind. Yeah, right.

And showing up for the first time this season, almost causing a detour to the cardiology wing at the hospital, was Crewman (AFOF) Ozzy. At this rate, I calculate we’ll see Ozzy two more times this year.

Also, we should congratulate Ensign Zoraida on a great tactical move – telling me about her vacation AFTER getting promoted. If only we put these tactics to use on the race course…

So what did we do when the wind died? Three of us were still sailing. The others were eating cookies while Ensign Jonathan explained to Ensign Zoraida how to get his rabbit out of her hole and around the tree so it can go back in the hole again. (It’s all about making a bowline knot – sheesh, you log readers are perverts.) After a while, Jonathan did look at me and asked, “Can we keep this rabbit and hole stuff out of the log?”

“Not likely.”

Lastly, I wanted to note here in the log my appreciation and overwhelming gratitude to the crew of the Enterprise for chipping in together for a half-hull model of the ship as a gift for my (gulp) 40th birthday. Luckily, the model-maker didn’t close up shop and run for the hills when I sent him the hull graphics file and photographs. I imagine it’ll take a few weeks before I see it, but it is, by far, the most amazing gift. Thank you all.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10643.6
Last night, the New York Area’s heavy downpours and wind gusts up to 25 knots, officially labeled a Nor’easter by NOAA, had the New York Yankees cancel their third game against the Boston Red Sox.

Pussies.

Donned in foul weather gear (some more able to handle foul weather than others,) the intrepid crew of the Starship Enterprise were not going to let a little rain and a little wind keep us from the thrill and adventure of yacht racing. And a thrill it was as we crossed tacks and maneuvered downwind at speeds up to Warp 9. Unfortunately, only 20% of the registered boats showed for what was (and probably will be) the most exciting race of the season.

Because, ultimately, the best races are the ones where you get home or to your office and people say to you “You went sailing in that?”

Congratulations to the brave crew that showed and raced us to a fifth place finish, just three minutes out of first – our best placement yet on a Wednesday Night on this Enterprise. And, at this point, I am officially promoting Crewman Jonathan and Yeoman Zoraida to the rank of Ensign effective immediately for their dedication and persistence – they will both make great Starfleet officers.

Zoraida, determined to keep a trend going no matter how bad the weather gets, brought along a bobka cake and after the race, shared her extensive knowledge in bobka baking while Lt. Commander Mitch confused the Seinfeld references. Say what you want about our team, but as far as I know, none of the Americas Cup boats or Volvo Ocean racers have Bobka experts on board. Talk about an edge.

Not showing, again, and despite several emails to the contrary, was Ozzy, leading to an unfortunate demotion in rank. Is there anything lower than Crewman? Yes. Ozzy is now the Enterprise’s Alternate Fuel and Oil Filter. It’s an easy enough job, but requires the use of a cup, a strainer and a straw.

Try not to swallow. That stuff is expensive.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 10641.6
With a steady 10 knots of breeze last night and the crew on board, we made our way out to the race course fully-prepped for the evening ahead. We were ready. We were primed. We were eager.

So eager, that we were over the line early for the start. But, thankfully, so was 80% of the fleet. They say if you’re not over early a few times during a season, you’re not trying hard enough. Last night, the fleet was apparently trying very hard. We had a general recall, were all called back and tried again. Our next start was a little slow, but the crew performed admirably getting the Enterprise up to speed.

Our sets went well as did our jibes. The first take down went perfectly. The second, well, let’s just say Richard won’t be manning the spinn halyard again. I wouldn’t be surprised if the next time we launch, we see a few stripers, flounder and shrimp fall to the deck.

Not on board, again, was Crewman Ozzy. As I mentioned in a previous log entry, Ozzy was looking for a change in rank. He may just get his wish. I’ll try to find out the Starfleet equivalent to “Cabin Boy.”

Joining us for her first mission was Yeoman Beverly, as well as Cadets Nicole and Olivier. All did very well. I’m also very impressed with the work of Yeoman Zoraida and Crewman Jonathan. Zoraida did very well on the foredeck, which was good, but it was her little bag of cookies that makes it clear she knows what it takes to increase her standing on board. Jonathan manned the cockpit like a pro, only complaining once about, and these are his words, “bumping bottoms” with Richard (A mental image that will haunt me for decades, I’m sure.)

Lack of crew availability and a overall sucky weather forecast for Saturday will keep us from the North Shore Yacht Club Day Race, but all systems are go for next Wednesday and the weekend after’s City Island Cup.