Captain’s Log: Stardate 10739.5
Last night, the crew gathered for our first race in this year’s Wednesday Night Race Series. Well, some of the crew. Ensign Jonathan was in Florida, Yeoman Brittany had to be with her sister who went into labor that morning (how terribly inconsiderate of her sister – next time cross her legs, or give her rubber underwear) and Crewman Kenny sent me a last-minute text message to my communicator that he was stuck at work (imagine that, choosing financial stability and career advancement over yacht racing – I’m so ashamed.)

Luckily, we had some new cadets aboard, including the way-better-at-cranking-a-headsail-than-Mitch Brad, Mike (who took releasing so seriously that he gave blood at the starboard winch,) Joyce and Ellen.

The wind was pretty heavy and despite all the new people as well as the old people who forgot where everything was on the Enterprise, we took a first place start, made a bold tactical move on USS Exhilaration that involved a barge and continued to increase distance between us and the rest of the fleet.

Did we make mistakes? Oh man, did we make mistakes! Even as the Enterprise exceeded Warp 8.5, our tacks were slow, control of the main sometimes gave way to sight-seeing, and, during jibes, the foredeck had enough lines going every which way that it looked like a lost scene from a Spider-Man movie. There was even one moment where it looked like our spinnaker pole was going to crash down on the deck, but thankfully Captain Dave slowed it down with his head.

That incident was shortly after this conversation:
Dave: Tighten up the topping lift!
Richard: Where’s the topping lift?
Edd: The one that’s marked “Topping Lift”!
Richard: Oh.

We crossed the finish line first and remained there after all the handicaps were calculated. A first place finish! Congrats to the Enterprise crew. Now, as Commodore to EBYRA, I’m considering cancelling Races 2 through 16.

Finally, as we went home under impulse power, enjoying Ensign Zoraida’s (now lameoid-free) bounty of cookies and brownies, we began to speculate what exactly happened to her thumb that it is swollen and in a brace. She’s not talking, so we’ll leave it up to the public. Please email your answer to “How Zoraida Hurt Her Thumb?” to The best answer will win an Enterprise crew shirt. Was it a bizarre hitchhiking accident? Is her fingernail still stuck in the side of the lameoid’s neck? Was she over texting her vote for Blake Lewis on American Idol? You decide.