Captain's Log: Stardate 10754.8
As I write this log entry, a team of writers in California are working with producer/director J.J. Abrams to try and piece together the next Star Trek film, reportedly set in the earlier days of Kirk and Spock (rumors are out there stating that they are in talks with Zachary Quinto – best known as the villain Sylar on NBC's "Heroes" - to play the role of Spock.)

But, after last night and this morning, I can save them a heap of time and energy. Tons of drama, complete with moments of hopelessness followed by ultimate victory, can all be found in my version, tentatively titled "Star Trek XI: The Quest for Hydraulic Oil".

The story is simple: The Enterprise is needed for a deep-space mission, we’ll call it the Around the Alpha Quadrant Regatta, and as they are prepping the ship for departure, there is something wrong with the warp drive. Scotty does a complete check of the system and discovers the hydraulics for the anti-matter injectors are offline because they are out of oil. Insert here a warning about the dependency of oil, dealing with the big oil companies and the use of plastic in such systems that can break-down the oil and how it all contributed to the early 21st-Century crisis of global warming. We always prefer if there a "message" in a movie or episode that we can learn from.

Captain Kirk then goes through the entire ship’s library, where some of the data is in a state of decay, to find which oil is exactly the right one to use. Once he finds it, he conducts a search through all known sources to find a replacement canister, but can only find sizes that would be suitable for starbases – much too big for starship use. He vents his frustration to McCoy, who only states "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not an oil salesman."

Sulu finds the answer – just the right size. But, the supplier won’t deliver to the Enterprise directly. They only do "wholesale", the concept of which can’t be explained logically, and therefore has Spock attempting to determine why it even exists.

Thankfully, Sulu had an old account with the big oil company and used it to secure the oil for the ship, almost singlehandedly saving the Enterprise so she can complete her mission. The crew owes their lives to Sulu and Kirk owes him $25 to cover the oil, tax, shipping and handling.

Two hours, easy.

The End. Roll credits. Hint at a sequel: "Star Trek XII: The Vengeance of Batten Hardware and Mast Cars".