Captain's Log: Supplemental
Thank you to Commander Richard for sending over this final photograph from the Montauk Worlds Regatta -- a shot of Lt. Jonathan standing on the street with a local merchant's parrot on his shoulder.



But, as it turns out, I have learned that this photograph was merely a practice session for Jonathan as he plans to assume a new post on a different ship during the colder months once the Enterprise is decommissioned for the season.

So here he is -- the new main sail trimmer for the Black Pearl:



I wonder if they'll keep him . . .

Captain's Log: Stardate 10865.6
Last night, the winds were a little lighter than we hoped for, but with Commanders Jory and Richard back, we were going to give it our best.

Our start was a few seconds off (maybe four), but we held our own against the three Beneteaus at Warp 6 leaving Captain Ohstrom's new ship, the Star, stuck at low impulse. But, not to worry. We're on to you, Star. Throwing races to get an even better rating. Shame on you.

Missing once again, but this time without any kind of real excuse like being in the Canary Islands or in Turkey, was Ensign Brittany, but then again, we only really noticed because there was far less chatter on board. Ensign Zoraida is back on the foredeck as long as she keeps clear from bisexual (or is that bicycle - I'm still not clear on that) accidents or bouts of arthritis.

Crewman Blake, though out of uniform last night, seems to be doing well getting acclimated to the ship. Still, when asked to take Lt. Jonathan's post at the pit, he seemed more out of place than Hillary Clinton at the DNC the other night. Still, I'm sure Blake will come along quite well in the seasons to come.

Our spinnaker sets were sheer perfection as was our several jibes in the shifty conditions -- all while never losing an ounce of shape. At one point, after a jibe and with the chute perfectly trimmed while the Enterprise cruised steadily at Warp 5.2, Ensign Kenny asked, "Didn't you used to have a guy on board with a big yellow bag? What was his name?"

Speaking of Lt. Commander Mitch: he just reported in from his shore leave on Cape Cod where he was logging on the Internet to check the results from last night at EBYRA.COM, but, in his haste, he left out the "Y" and after hours of admiring cup sizes and lingerie at eBra.com, he almost forget about racing altogether.

Careful, Mitch. You don't want to get your keyboard, um, sticky.

We finished fourth right on the tail of Breakaway, easily correcting into third for the night. A job well done by the crew in demanding conditions. I can't tell you how impressed I am with this crew's performance this year and how much they have learned. The key here is to not forget for next season. Everyone: Go someplace warm and sail this winter. That's an order.

At the very least, set up a fan near your bathtub and look for puffs.

We finished the evening with boxed wine, cookies and some cheese that Jory brought over from Italy that was so good, we're considering sacrificing fast tacks and sending him back for more.

With two more races to go, it looks like this will be our best year yet. Well done all. Well done.

Captain's Log: Stardate 10863.7
Last night started with winds lighter than the Qingdao Olympic Sailing Center as we circled the engine-less committee boat with a careful eye on the windspeed desperately hoping to see it go above 5 for more than a few seconds. And, amazingly enough, just before the drop-dead time of 7:45, it happened. 6.1 steady. Ooooh, this was going to be a mast-bender. Better break out the life jackets.

We started by the pin in first-place position, but the weight of the Enterprise was simply no match for the ultra-light competitor, who easily passed us on the upwind leg. Still, the Enterprise was sailing incredibly well. Good speed, good handling. We did very, very well.

While the tacks, chute set and jibe went without flaws -- all perfectly executed with precision and expertise by the Enterprise crew, I was most impressed by Ensign Ellen's Starfleet computer voice impersonation calling out speed for the main trim team. "Warp 5.1, Warp 5.3, Warp 5.7." But, I must admit I was a little concerned when she, in the same voice, said, "The starboard anti-matter coolant intake valve is reading out of alignment by 1.2 microns. Automatic compensators are engaged and functioning within specified parameters."

I also noticed, approaching the windward mark, just before the crew prepared the boat for the downwind leg and the spinnaker hoist, that someone yelled out "Yellow Alert!" I wondered, not sure whether to be proud or a little frightened, if I took this 'Enterprise' thing just a little too far.

After the finish, Foredeck Captain Dave wanted to tempt fate and asked if we could jibe the spinnaker again. Everyone scrambled (I think I head "Yellow Alert!" again) and wooosh, another perfect jibe with no collapse whatsoever. We got it down!

Then, I think someone said "Richard who?"

We finished the evening uncorking a new box of wine and sending around a delectable combination of cheese, salami, crackers and Japanese soy pods (extra points if you can figure out which crewmember brought the soy pods.)

With only three races to go, and even without some key people next week, I think Third place is ours. Now's not the time to slack off though. We still need to do well. And, with our performance lately, I have no doubts.

Captain's Log: Stardate 10861.7
With Commander Jory in Italy, Commander Richard in New Mexico, Ensign Brittany in Turkey and Lt. Jonathan choosing to play with his band "Not Dead Yet" over racing, the Enterprise went forth last night with several newbies getting used to the ship and several "oldies" getting used to new positions. By the way, "Not Dead Yet" is not only the name of Jonathan's Grateful Dead Tribute Band, but, amazing enough, the first choice of group name for "Jonny Flaks and the Off-Tones", but, alas, it was taken.

Joining the crew for his second mission was Crewman Blake, whom I can see has a real future in Starfleet. He handled tacking well and did a superb job filling in for some of Captain Dave's foredeck duties during Captain Dave's elbow injury which he claimed was from years of pulling halyards, but some of us think it may be from opening cabinets in the galley.

We started with the fleet on the line with no real positional advantage. After seeing Crossbow go to the right side, we followed, hoping to gain some standing if possible. And, although the crew performed amazingly well, especially with crew filling into positions for the first time, I couldn't make good enough tactical decisions and chose the wrong side of the course during the upwind legs.

Although we agreed, several times, it was all Richard's and Jonathan's fault.

Downwind, well, all I can say is, "Wow!" Our sets could have been a little faster, but the flying, gybing and take-downs were superbly executed. Kudos to Lt. Commander Mitch, Captain Dave, Ensign Ellen, Ensign Zoraida and Crewman Olivier for their chute-handling skills and thanks to Ensign Kenny and Ensign June for running the pit so well. And, thanks to Lt. Kurt's mommy and daddy for exploring City Island restaurants, thereby able to give Kurt a ride home and thereby enabling Kurt to race and handle the main downwind.

Despite our 4th out of 5 performance last night, this did mark our first of a possible two throwouts for the season. We're in third, but, as it stands now, only if "The Terrorist" doesn't qualify. We still need to do well. There's 4 weeks to go and I know this crew can do it.

It looks like, again, several key people are not as dependable as we hoped they would be and fill-ins are needed. If we can get everyone we had last night, we'd be in great shape.

Meanwhile, despite my repeated test of the phone lines to see if they are operational, there have been no calls whatsoever for bookings for Jonny Flaks and the Off-Tones.

Captain's Log: Stardate 10860.9
Report from the Volvo Rolex Montauk Worlds Regatta

The Enterprise is now safely home after a grueling weekend of racing in the Volvo Rolex Montauk Worlds Regatta, an invitational series where crews and boats are selected from all over the world to compete. And, I'm proud to say all went well and our second place trophy is on the way (we were badly beaten by a ship called "Reliant", but something tells me we'll get them the next go-around.)

As exciting as the race was, it's almost like the entire crew was affected by a atmospheric multi-phasic therelon-based anomaly and we are left with no recollection about the actual race or even the voyages to Montauk and back from City Island. In fact, after checking the ship's sensors, it's almost like the Enterprise never left at all. Very strange indeed.

But, the pre- and post-race events are still very clear to us. It started on Thursday night, where the crew dined on a fabulous seafood meal and then walked to the beach for a sponsor-related concert by a band with the longest name ever existed. I think it was something like "Cats Sliding Downwards with No Traction Whatsoever on a Smooth Roof-type Surface Then Falling Into Oncoming Traffic and Getting Their Claws Stuck in the Grille of a 1978 Oldsmobile."



Lt. Jonathan, clearly very shy and displaying a general distaste for any form of rock n' roll music was forced up on stage against his will:



The following day, again, after a busy day of racing which we have no recollection of, the crew headed back to the beach to practice some of their downwind sail handling by flying kites. Suddenly all of our troubles downwind made sense to me.









But, the most disturbing element of the evening was when Commander Richard and Lt. Jonathan, after losing control of one of their kites, decided to attach it to a piece of driftwood and send it out to sea:





The kite, and the attached driftwood, went across the Atlantic in record time, crossed the Southern tip of Africa by the next morning, made a brief appearance in the Opening Ceremony of the Beijing 2008 Olympics and was last reported causing engine failure to Oceanic Flight 815 somewhere in the Pacific and all surviving passengers are on some uncharted island owned by the Dharma Initiative.

The next day started with a short wind-less voyage on board the previous Enterprise, currently decommissioned out of Starfleet and renamed to Runty Kid II. Then, in the afternoon, Lt. Jonathan was given his fist command of a Scout-Class vessel, the USS Snark:









We assume the mission went well, but then again, it's not often that you see a crew return from a mission carrying the ship over their heads:



The evening ended with a private performance by the latest musical sensation to ever hit the scene. Never once featured on American Idol and far too lacking in talent to ever appear on America's Got Talent (and that's saying a lot since they have David Haselhoff as a judge,) the Starship Enterprise is proud to introduce to you, long before their world tour to the hot spots like Ennis, Montana; Hickory Ridge, Arkansas and Mahwah, New Jersey; give it up for the one, the only, often imitated but never duplicated, rock-em sock-em until you drop-em, Jonny Flaks and the Off-Tones.



Two performances are available on YouTube by searching for "Jonny Flaks and the Off Tones." The web hits are off the roof and comments are rolling in like "Dad keep your day job."

Requests for Jonny Flaks and the Off Tones for private parties, weddings and appearances can be made through Enterprise Entertainment Group LLC at 1-800-OFF-TONE.

Back home again, we are amazed at how great a trip it has been and how much fun it was being with friends for a long getaway.

But, even more amazing was how much Montauk resembles Sea Bright, NJ.

Captain's Log: Stardate 10860.0
Last night, the crew of the Enterprise gathered for what was supposed to be the race that would earn us a throwout and further cement us in our third-place standing. The conditions were perfect and we knew we would do well, even though Commander Richard hurt himself and decided to spend the evening underneath the MYBC tent and watch boaters set what's left of the club on fire using barbecues.

But, upon our arrival to the starting line, Kenny noticed that the warp core stabilizing anti-matter influx coupler (the main sheet block on the traveler) was bent out of shape and was one good wind puff from blowing. So, before Mitch could yell out "Oh my god, the main sheet block killed Kenny!" and Dave could yell "You bastard!", we decided to head on back to orbit to make margaritas and repairs (in order of priority.)

Afterwards, faulty block in hand and with a plan to get a replacement during the Montauk Worlds Regatta, we, like an idiot child who keeps putting his hand on the hot stove, went back to City Island Yacht Club for dinner, sampling their one-pass-only buffet of undercooked burgers, greasy fries and pasta that could have either featured tiny mushrooms or mouse feces -- not too sure.

Still, my plate didn't hit the surface of the table for more than a nanosecond before Ensign Ellen grabbed the longest, girthiest fry on the plate.

We started to discuss the details about this weekend's Montauk Worlds Regatta, including some of the sleeping arrangements and what to bring (towels, sheets, etc.) Ensign June surprised us all with her expert knowledge of how to remove protein stains from sheets so that it can't be traced. She said she watches CSI. Personally, I didn't know CSI was on the Spice Channel.

I fully expect the Enterprise back to full operational status for next week's race. But, without Lt. Jonathan, Commander Richard, Commander Jory and others, I'm worried we won't have enough crew on board for our missions. Add to that the appearance that Ensign Brittany has disappeared, it's time to recruit.

A career in Starfleet can await you. Please contact the captain.