Captain's Log: Stardate 10908.8
Last night, several members of the crew of the Enterprise beamed over to Starfleet Headquarters (my apartment) for the Second Annual Starship Super Bowl Spectacular to feast on junk food and watch the big game on a HD screen so large that if Captain Kirk had one in the 80s, he would have seen Khan coming from miles away.

Most of the food, except for a delivered pizza and buffalo wings, and a wondrous supply of beef ribs provided by Zoraida's boyfriend Steve, came as leftovers from the Nathan Flaks Bar Mitzvah. Which was fine with me, as long as it didn't come with an 18-hour candle-lighting ceremony beforehand.

It looked like it was going to be a fun game. That is, until Madden started talking, blurting out the most inane obvious commentary that made us all feel like football scholars.

But things got really weird when Madden, who apparently has been spending way too much time on his bus (no car could fit him,) started going on and on about tight ends, wide receivers ending with a five-time repetition of, and I shit you not, "penetration, penetration, penetration, penetration, penetration." That was all followed by commentary about the end zone and the word "burst." Most of us were appalled, but we did see Lt. Jonathan run off to another room to call his, um, how do I put this, chiropractor.

Lt. June arrived early, grabbing up some of the best seats in the house, and proceeded to root for the Cardinals, much to the dismay of practically everyone else in the room. At one point, when the Cards took a short-lived lead, she cheered so loud that Dave warned her of a demotion to bilge duty.

The big surprise of the night, aside from the game -- one of the most exciting Super Bowls in the history of Super Bowls, was the appearance by Lt. Kurt! On a weekend! With the wife and kids at home! Captain Dave asked him how he did it, how he was able to get away, most likely expecting an elaborate story of how he used an old spoon to chisel away at the wall for the last several months, climbed over drainage pipes, scaled 40-foot walls while evading guard dogs, and a life-size paper and plaster replica of himself placed in his bed. But, Kurt simply noted that his wife "owed him" so he was able to get away for a few hours without penalty.

Everyone took off right after the game, leaving me with enough food to keep me out of the A&P for the next year and a half and enough beer and wine to make the Enterprise a very happy ship for the season to come.

The Enterprise Ski Weekend is next -- and then, after March and April, we will continue our voyages through the final frontier.