Captain's Log: Stardate 10914.2
This weekend marked the first annual Enterprise Ski Weekend - where several members of the Enterprise crew headed north to The Berkshires to ski Catamount. Aside from the several who didn't RSVP at all, Lt. Commander Mitch was a no-show due to a bout with the flu and Ensign Kenny also didn't come because he has - and the CDC is now on full alert status - the "sniffles".

We all stayed at the Days Inn in Great Barrington, where I was shocked at the amount of similarities it had with the previous hotel I stayed at just a couple of weeks prior: The Bellagio in Las Vegas. After all, the Bellagio has a fountain outside and the Days Inn had ice in the parking lot. The Bellagio offered fine cuisine and the Days Inn offered imported coffee called "Casa del Maxwell."

The day of skiing (we left Sunday because a storm was hitting) was probably the best ever. Sunny skies, mid 30's and, partially thanks to the economic meltdown, not too crowded. Perfect conditions for me to try to get rid of the image of Lt. Jonathan trying to get in Lt. Ellen's pants the night before.

Jonathan spent most of his time standing still posing for photos:



(Notice how the hills LOOK steeper because the person holding the camera tilted the horizon?)

Lt. Zoraida spent most of her time learning to snowboard, but I think she was just trying to get closer to Mother Earth:



But it was I, the clearly most talented and fastest skier of the bunch, who immediately took to the speedier slopes, moving on to break a wide-range of National and Olympic speed records:



Unfortunately, in the interests of full disclosure, Starfleet Command has ordered me to show the entire photo:



What can I say? I'm into sailing. After 12 knots, things start getting scary.

We skied for several hours, ending the day up on the porch of the lodge watching Zoriada's niece, Elana, continue trying to snowboard all while comparing it the to famous "agony of defeat" moment in the beginning of ABC's Wide World of Sports. Meanwhile, it appears that Jonathan's 8 year-old son, Ray, found the lyrics to our new theme song "I'm on a Boat" and couldn't wait to tell his mother about it.



We ended the day with dinner at a fantastic restaurant called Route 7 Grill, complete with a waitress who, when asked, thought that each item on the menu was "awesome," but got a little creeped-out when Zoraida brought out her gift muppet, nicknamed "Little Z", which quickly started to molest Zoriada's boyfriend Steve.



Jonathan politely waited his turn, then proceeded to fist the muppet, unbutton her shirt and make enough remarks to make a porn star blush. This was, of course, until his Cantor showed up at the table (no joke) and that muppet was off his hand at warp speed.

I wasn't able to witness what transpired the rest of the evening (way too tired and Live Free or Die Hard was coming on HBO,) but I hear it involved vodka, an ultra-competitive game of UNO and Zoraida giving the muppet to Jonathan asking him to please show them where the priest (or Cantor?) touched him.

I'm just happy I didn't have to bail anyone out of jail.

All in all, an AMAZING trip. A new tradition is born. We must do this again at least once next year.