Captain's Log: Stardate 10937.3
Yesterday, the members of the crew of the Starship Enterprise that were not at a bar mitzvahs, out of the country, checking moorings in New Jersey, watching the Yankees finally win a game, teaching mental midgets, getting married in the armpit of Pennsylvania or doing God-knows-what, came out to rig the ship, check all systems and go for a fun sail in our first voyage of the season.

This time, I'm happy to report that Lt. Kurt did not show up with a toddler in hand, but instead chose to show up after most of the heavy lifting and rigging was done. It amazes me the lengths this one goes through to avoid doing a little labor. Still, all was forgiven when he introduced himself to Yeoman Kelly by simply stating, "I am Spock."

Lt. Commander Mitch, seemingly obsessed with the overly fascinating world of tell-tales, proceeded to place them along every conceivable point on the mainsail to watch airflow. He did briefly consider placing one or two on Kurt, but ultimately decided not to in the fear he'd have to trim Kurt on upwind legs.

Meanwhile, Lt. Ellen, perhaps after watching waaaaay too much of American Idol during the colder months, decided to sing songs to every comment made on board. In one afternoon, we went from "I'm on a Boat" to "Here Comes the Sun" during the ever-so-brief glimpses of sunshine in the very overcast, windy day.

Between tacks and jibes, along with a few glorious moments at above Warp 7.3 on an upwind leg, the team worked on acclimating Yeoman Kelly to the crew by filling her in on all the back-stories on board, from the ultra-hazardous cabinet openings (Mitch is working on a safety video) to the dangers of the head to the workings of Kurt's brain to how Mitch will happily talk about sex with goats, but will draw the line at oral sex with goats.

I suppose it's good to have standards.

On our way back to the mooring after locking in the locations of the EBYRA marks into the ship's navigation systems, Lt. Ellen commented about our recent trip to the Bay Area of California and the clear indications of lesbians roaming the SFO airport. "They all dress alike," she stated.

"Maybe they're part of a gang," Dave replied, shortly after remarking that he, too, is a lesbian. "The Cramps and the Bloods."

Oh yeah. We're back.