Captain's Log: Stardate 10948.2
There can only be one reason why it did not rain during last night's race. After all, New York has clearly become the new Seattle with what feels like several months' worth of clouds and rain. But, it didn't rain last night. And, the only reason I can come up with is because I had spent several minutes getting into my heavy foul weather gear, including my Gill boots so as not to get my "mocs" wet. It was only after I had all the gear on, including finding locations to stow my wallet, keys and iPhone, that the sky cleared and the temps rose.

And to add to the anomaly, there was actually a breeze! Once again, the Weather Channel gets it wrong -- and in HD, they are now clearly wrong.

We all got on board and prepared the Enterprise for departure. That is, except for June who was sailing on Breakaway in Block Island Race Week and Mitch, who was running terribly late. Luckily, the race committee was short-handed and was in a postponement, giving time for Mitch to run down the dock - panting heavily from carrying the yellow bag.

We circled the starting area and assessed the favored end, which, unamazingly enough, turned out to be the committee boat, aptly named "Favored End." As I awaited the starting timing, Commander Richard pronounced is tactical strategy for the night - watching where Tolo goes. Tolo, of course, was at Block Island as well, and we were all very impressed with Richard's superhuman eyesight.

We adjusted the main halyard tension, which seemed to make a big difference in our upwind leg - Warp 7.5 in around 10-12 knots of breeze. SWEET! In fact, had the wind not shifted further East on the first leg, we would have rounded first. I challenged the crew again to a jibe set and they all performed admirably. Kudos to Lt. Kurt and Captain Dave for jury-rigging a pole-lift solution when a block broke as well as to Lt. Ellen for setting up the lines perfectly as well as flying the chute during the jibe and to Yeoman Kelly (or is it Abby) for transitioning to - her words - "bow bitch and sewer bitch to pit bitch."

The jibe on the short downwind leg also went very well, with the spinnaker never collapsing during the maneuver. The only slow point was when Lt. Commander Mitch wouldn't release the now-lazy sheet. But, for a man who's failed to deliver the hard salami for two weeks in a row, can you blame him for just liking to hold it?

We held ground for the second windward leg and did another superb jibe set, nicely finishing in third place for the evening - a job well done for all.

I had to miss dinner to officiate over a protest between High Heels and Wilpower regarding a collision between the two a couple of weeks back. I did my best to stay unbiased, but, as Mitch pointed out, it's very common to lose willpower when it comes to high heels.

Spinnaker Trim Officer's Log: Stardate 10946.3
Lieutenant Commander Mitch Recording
With our captain leaving on an away mission to the close-to-bankrupt planet of California, the balance of the crew and I went back to Dempsey's for our usual post-race helping of wings, beer and conversation. Plus, it seems Lt. Jonathan REALLY wanted to see Courtney again. It wasn't long until it was revealed that Courtney was born in 1990 - 19 years old, the same age as the Enterprise, and young enough to be his daughter. While the rest of the men on board couldn't really see an issue with this, Yeoman Kelly thought he should be ashamed of himself.

With a vagabond birthday party in our usual space (yes, going there twice makes it our usual space,) we were placed at an L-shaped table in the back. And then, speaking of age, Courtney, between lap dances on Jonathan, decided to "card" Yeoman Kelly, Crewman Luke and Ensign Kenny.

Those not getting carded decided to leave thousands of chickens in the world wingless and, while eating, began to think of ways to climb the Amanda Hills. That is, all except June, who apparently spent the evening looking for a stud around the restaurant and bar - but was very, very happy to find one on the floor of her apartment.

Captain's Log: Stardate 10946.3
Sitting on the ground at Newark Airport awaiting for weather clearance to take off for my meeting in Los Angeles, I found myself wondering if it might be faster to take the Enterprise instead. Plus, I'm sure it'll be far more entertaining than the double feature on today's flight: Paul Blart, Mall Cop and Pink Panther 2. Ugh. I think there should be a rule on in-flight movies - show something better than films that make passengers hope for engine failure.

As the flight climbed to 15,000 feet, I saw something out the window that I had not seen since long ago. In the before-time. I think they called it sunshine.

Anyway, last night's race on the Enterprise was far better than expected. The crew performed admirably in the chilly Seattle-like weather with two perfect spinnaker sets and take-downs. The shifted winds did not give us an opportunity to jibe, but had we done so, I'm sure that would have went well too.

And, in the end, it was the shifted winds that did us in. So, now it's official. I'm a bonehead. I knew all about the forecast for the wind to go Southeast, but made the mistake of going right. Boats far behind us made out very well by going left, but we did what we could to stay with the leaders.

For a while there, I was concerned we weren't even going to start. By 6:30, several of the crew were still not aboard and were stuck behind the Pelham Park drawbridge, apparently never seeing the opening of the Blues Brothers movie. Lt. Kurt wrote me earlier in the day to say he wouldn't make it, thinking he was dangerously close to being demoted and assigned to the position of Assistant Cabinet Opener. Not a chance Kurt - you're a family man and I know how dangerous that job can be.

Also missing was Zoraida's cookies, Richard's sushi and Mitch's hard salami (or soft salami, for that matter - can a salami take a Cialis?) so I started to wonder how dedicated the crew might be this year. Not even a steering-cable-greased Twizzler. Damn.

I had to end the evening quickly to catch my ultra-delayed flight (I made my meeting with only 10 minutes to spare), so I don't know what went on at Dempsey's - but I'm expecting to get a full report from Lt. Commander Mitch soon. Did Dave climb Amanda's Hills? Who ate whose french fries? And, did Jonathan make out with Courtney? Mitch did promise that even if nothing interesting transpired, he'll just make some stuff up.

Captain's Log: Stardate 10944.4
With a full crew on board -- except Yeoman Kelly, who chose work commitments over Starfleet duty -- the Enterprise set out in the Easterly breeze for the fourth race in the Wednesday Night Race Series.

Our start could have been better, but that was mostly due to the unorthodox maneuvers by Forza, who failed to keep clear of us, the leeward boat. I decided not to raise our protest flag, figuring we'd probably pass them anyway at some point during the race.

Also in the starting area was Ernie Bivona's Eagle and Wendy Walasek's Fantasy Girl, with her new Tactician, Baby Daddy and EBYRA Curmudgeon (not necessarily in that order) Vince "Don't Call Me Nanny" Nanni.

We rounded the first windward mark and proceeded to perform a jibe set to stay away from the lighter air between Hart and City Islands. The set went well, the jibe went well and our take-down after the short leg was perfect - and the bow team did a fantastic job preparing the Enterprise for a quick jibe so we can achieve the highest possible Warp Speed on our way to the next windward mark.

We were doing well catching up on Eagle and putting some distance on the two boats behind us until we encountered what could only be described as a Fucking Breakaway. Going ultra-slow and a good several minutes behind the rest of her fleet, Breakaway, a Division 6 Beneteau, who is supposed to be much faster than us, especially in light air, blocked our maneuver around the mark and slowed us to a crawl as well, not letting us do our jibe-set as planned and giving Fantasy Girl oodles of time to catch up. And while Breakaway's position was perfectly legal under the rules, it certainly fell under last-place-boat-fouling-a-second-place-boat-in-another-division-asshole-move.

We were still able to cross in second, but Fantasy Girl was close enough behind to correct. All say it with me now -- Thank you Breakaway!

After the race, we went back to Brian Dempsey's (Lt. Jonathan REALLY wanted to see Courtney again) where we enjoyed their great menu and played with the party favors that Lt. Ellen set around the table in celebration for my birthday the day before. The noisemakers were popular for about a minute until the crew discovered the toy rings were able to squirt water about 15 feet. In no time the table scene was filled with streams of water flying back and forth to the point where Foredeck Captain Dave was happy he kept his foul weather gear on.

Meanwhile, Dave was doing everything he could to keep the other waitress, Amanda, coming back to the table. I'm starting to think that Dave should be calling tactics on the boat because that time where he "accidentally" dropped his fork to get Amanda to bend over was pure genius.

The birthday cake came and the crew sang happy birthday. I'm happy to say that they are better at spinnaker maneuvers than singing, though I'm not sure that's saying much. Meanwhile, June passed me a sailing resume by Alan Horowitz looking for a crew position on a racing sailboat. While he's clearly not Enterprise material (the resume was not on quality-laid paper,) I saw that he listed as crew experience "jib trim" and "boom." So, the latter either means he was a preventer on downwind legs or he's very popular with the ladies -- after all a boom could be 12 feet in length.

Lastly, congratulations to Ensign Kenny and his new bride Nina on their wedding and surviving their honeymoon in Africa. I'm told she's already quit her job and is moving to another state - a real time-saver. Still, it took several of the other married Enterprise crew to convince him it was not only OK, but safer, to remove the ring during racing.

Besides, Jonathan "Frodo" Flaks could not help but feel drawn to the Ring.

Captain's Log: Stardate 10942.5
It wasn't the steady downpour of showers that kept us from racing last night, but rather the average wind speeds of 1 with gusts up to 2.5 that sealed the fate of the Enterprise as well as every other boat racing in the series.

Knowing all too well that this was going to happen, the crew gathered under the Morris tent instead of beaming over to the ship. It was there that we enjoyed cookies, sandwiches, wraps, cheese and Mitch's salami.

Missing for the night was Ensign Kenny, Lt. Jonathan, Lt. Kurt (dangerously close to being demoted to Ensign) and Lt. Ellen, confined to quarters with a nagging case of the Denoblian Virus - which she swears in nothing, NOTHING, like the swine flu. "I hope there's no wind and you don't race," she said over the communicator between sniffles. That's my girl. Team Player.

Yeoman Kelly showed up a little late, having lost her battle with New York City Traffic and the MTA's so-called "Express" Bus. To try and cheer her up, Lt. Commander Mitch asked her, as only Mitch could, if she wanted some of his salami. Without missing a beat, she asked if it was hard. Sheesh, Kelly - You just got here and he's over 40. Give it a minute.

Crewman Luke then showed us his leg scar from last Sunday's Day Race, which was not only enough to make us lose our appetites, but the crew was also able to exclaim, in unrehearsed unison, "Ewwwwwwwwww!" Then, Captain Dave asked Commander Jory how much blood was splattered on the foredeck. Of course, we now have a new level of respect for Jory and Luke, injured performing their duty during intense conditions and not, say, while opening a cabinet in the galley.

After some time, we went over to City Island Yacht Club to sample the food by the new Steward. Not a large menu by any means, but tasty nonetheless. And the service was excellent, a welcome change compared to last year's 1.5-hour wait for a burger and a pitcher of water.

Afterwards, Commander Richard drove several New Yorkers, well beyond capacity of his Soccer Mom Minivan, back to the city, including a new crewperson from Captain Wendy Walasek's "Fantasy Girl." Wendy and Vince are now less than a month away from the birth of their daughter, which Vince, now retired, will be staying home and caring for. As I picture him singing songs, rocking cradles and changing diapers, I realized just how perfect it is that his last name is "Nanni."

Captain's Log: Stardate 10941.6
Edd: "Guys, that was probably the worst jibe - ever. Ever!"
Richard: "I don't know. There was that one on August 12, 1978..."

Oh yes, 1978. Eight crew injured. Three dead. I stand corrected. Second worst.

Mitch: "Actually, this wasn't a jibe. It was a take-down."

I stand corrected again. When the bow of the Enterprise looked like the snake scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark, covered with twisted spinnaker sheets, guys, uphauls, downhauls, jib sheets and halyards, I realized that all hopes for a successful jibe was lost and called for a take-down. The chute went down and after what seemed like a week passed, we got the jib out again -- and we all cursed Dave for choosing to spend time with his boys instead of running the foredeck.

And so it was for the first weekend race of the season -- the Port Washington Yacht Club Day Race. Over 20 miles in a variety of wind conditions raging from a peaceful and slow 8-knot breeze to balls-out excitement in 20+ gusts.

The race was loaded with close calls, including an emergency maneuver around an anchored sailboat at Warp 9 with the chute flying with no control whatsoever - and for the first time this season (and hopefully the last) blood was spilled on the deck.

Then again, we rounded the first mark in fifth place - maybe it wasn't enough blood.

We missed Kenny on the main. We missed Dave on the foredeck. We missed Jonathan in the pit (and for getting a telltale unstuck -- it's made of yarn, it was high up, and we needed his kitten-like skills.)

Still, I was very impressed with the crew to overcome the challenges as we fought hard to regain standing on the ultra-long upwind legs as well as the faith they put in me when I decided to take the Enterprise through the very-narrow opening between Stepping Stone Rocks and the Kings Point shoreline to save time.

"We're going in there," I said and set a course into what the crew starting referring to as The Wormhole.

Richard started shaking his head. "I don't know... it's your boat...."

We made it through at Warp 6 and gained a ton of footing on our competition. It felt so good to see Captain Iris Vogel's Deviation just a few minutes ahead of us in the final legs.

We set the chute for the final two legs and all seemed well until a big wind gust hit from the aft quarter forcing us the round up. As I fought the helm, saying calm-through-crisis inspirational words like "Oh shit!", Mitch was quick to ease the sheet (this time) and we had control in no time. We picked up speed to Warp 8.5 back through The Wormhole, very impressed with the Enterprise-B and her quick-thinking crew. Something tells me, had we been on the Enterprise-A, a broach would have occurred.

I'm not sure yet how we finished - seeing how slow other clubs are with posting information makes be feel good about how we run EBYRA -- but we were certainly tired and certainly re-thinking any foolish thoughts about the Around Long Island this year.

All in all, a great race on a beautiful day. Even the various injuries and clusterfucks didn't seem to ruin peoples' day. I'm already looking forward to getting back out there on Wednesday.