Captain's Log: Stardate 10954.0
In doing a little research this morning, I found that there are companies out there who will charge their customers thousands and thousands of dollars to be ranked #1 on Google.

But, without spending a single dime, the Enterprise is still at the top of the heap with "Spinnaker Clusterfuck" - and last night's spinn set from hell cemented us there probably well into the 23rd Century.

But hey, why stop there? We're also #1 on Yahoo! and Microsoft's new "intelligent" search engine, Bing. As if Microsoft and the word "intelligent" should ever be used in the same sentence.

I wish I could say the chute was the source of all of our problems last night, but it went way beyond that. Before the start, Commander Richard spoke more about the draft than a late-60's politician, leading us to change the shape of our main - AWAY from where the sailmaker told us to set it. So, after my first-place evasive-maneuvered start, the Enterprise felt like we could barely move at impulse power. By the time we reached the first mark, practically the entire fleet passed us. I even thought for a moment that Chaika had passed us as well, but they still had never left the mooring.

Earlier in the week, Lt. June sent around an article called "Keelboat Hiking for Dummies" about the importance of hiking and the need to do so quickly after the skipper calls out, and I'm quoting from the article, "Hike [expletive(s) of choice]!!!" Always a fan of putting to use the things I read in articles, it wasn't long after the completion of our first tack that I yelled out, "Hike the fuck out, you fucking fuckers!!!" and then later, for good measure, I think I added "Motherfucker fuckety fuck!"

I'll work on that. But, it did work. The crew hiked like never before.

I won't go into many details about the first spinnaker portion of the race, but it all included tangled lines, late set, hourglass, disconnecting poles, contradicting orders and, the proverbial cherry on top, a jibe that tried to send the entire chute through a 1/2" opening on the uphaul block.

We set the sails back to their normal configuration and, Bam!, Warp Speed! The Enterprise found its groove again and passed several boats on the next upwind leg.

Our second chute set was close to perfect, except I called for the hoist JUST A LITTLE BIT early and Dave was almost launched into the stratosphere. Missed it by that much.

We crossed the finish line at Warp 7 in 3rd, correcting into 4th. The only challenges left for the evening were how many wings could I eat at Dempsey's and what is the precise timing that we should use to make Yeoman Kelly laugh while drinking so liquid shoots out of her nose.

Missed it by that much....