Captain's Log: Stardate 11149.6
Last night began with all of the parkways and highways leading to City Island more clogged than the arteries of the cast of Mike & Molly. What would normally take a half hour to drive turned into an hour and fifteen minutes. Still, I was impressed with the crew able to make it to the Enterprise with time to spare. Well, not ALL the crew. Someone was late. Again.

I won't mention names, but we're thinking of all chipping in to get him an executive coach to work out his lateness issues.

Conditions last night could not have been more perfect. Great temperatures, low humidity and 15+ breeze coming out of the north. There weren't many of us in the division out that night, and we all expected Chaika to win again (their rating is a bigger joke than The Hangover, Hangover II and Bridesmaids lumped together.) We gave it 100% anyway, and had the Enterprise at the starting line, and at the favored end, at the gun. The only way the start could have been better is if we tacked 10 milliseconds earlier.

The Enterprise flew upwind at a steady Warp 6.5, set the chute around the windward mark, jibed and doused all within a few minutes (the first downwind leg was very short -- great course choice by Eben.) Our first jibe was interesting to say the least. As I remember it, this was the sequence of events:

Lt. Kenny jibed the main. Commander Richard then said "We need to jibe the main first."
Kenny said, "We did."
Five seconds later, while Captain Dave worked on the pole on the foredeck, Richard said again, "First we need to jibe the main!"
Kenny: "The main is over. It's been over."
Then, I think, he said it a third time.
Kenny looked to me as if, in addition to all that I do have command over on the Enterprise, crew dementia should somehow be on the list. I think Kenny was considering jibing the main back and then again just to make it clear it was over.

We gained some ground on Chaika on the second downwind leg, and maybe a little more on the final upwind leg, but it wasn't enough. For a bunch of old fogies, they sure can sail fast. It seems our only hope of beating them is if all those years of Richie Coar's chain smoking catches up with him and they can't get the iron lung on the rail for upwind legs.

We got back to the mooring for a sampling of beer, gatorade and Mesquite BBQ potato chips (the breakfast of champions.) Kurt told a story of someone once asking him why they flavor the chips with mesquite -- isn't that a type of wood? But after tasting the chip, they said "Wow, that's good wood."

And that's when I felt a Michael Scott-ism coming on. "That's what....."