Captain's Log: Stardate 11161.1
With a very strong West-Northwesterly moving through Eastchester Bay, the conditions were very favorable for the Enterprise, even with a limited crew on board with several key people missing from duty. We started in good position on our first no-tack leg to the "windward" mark, rounding first ahead of fleet. All we need to do is get the jibe-set right and we're golden.

So much for golden. Hence the reason this Captain's Log continues to be #1 on Google for "Spinnaker Clusterfuck."

The spinnaker pole was stuck on the mast and we were instantly passed by Forza and Upchucka. Captain Dave, Commander Richard and Lt. Zoraida were working as fast as they could to fix the situation -- and, thanks to the efforts of the team on the bridge, we kept the boat moving as fast as we could on the main and blanketed jib.

Forza and Upchucka were pulling away. But, thankfully, the team was able to get everything stabilized. The pole went up, the guy was fed, the halyard went up and the chute filled just as an 18-20 gust was coming through . . . Warp 8!

Then Warp 8.1, Warp 8.2, Warp 8.4 . . .

In no time at all, we were back in the race, closing FAST on the lead two boats and putting some distance on the one behind us. At the first leeward mark, we rounded in second, just behind Upchucka -- then we passed them on the next upwind leg, thanks to the great work by the bridge team, including our guest grinder from Lima, OH; Gregg Delman. For those of you who don't know where Lima is, it's one of those dots in between New York and California. Actually, on most maps, they don't even get a dot. Basically, go to Toledo and head south until you've lost all your hopes and dreams. Then go a few miles further.

We rounded the next windward mark in second again, just behind Forza who was attempting to engage their cloaking device by not using their mast light or stern light. Our second jibe-set was textbook and the Enterprise took off again at high warp past French Fry Point at the tip of City Island.

Another great take-down and final upwind leg -- and the Enterprise crossed the line in second, correcting into third for the night. And, despite the troubles we experienced on the first chute set, this was, by far, our most fun and satisfying race of the season. The crew was a little out of their comfort zone, the winds clocked up at times and the great speeds made for an unforgettable evening.

The crew organized the deck as we headed back home under impulse drive. Commander Jory positioned himself on the foredeck near Lt. Zoraida to pick up the mooring and all was going well until we heard Zoraida scream that Jory was putting his, and I quote, "long stick between her legs."

Hey. She's single. He's single. It's been six years. What took him so long?

Once back ashore, in an effort to get served food sometime before the 24th Century, we decided to skip the club and head straight to Johnnie's Reef Restaurant on French Fry Point for dinner. It was absolutely delicious, but the crew had enough fried shrimp, fried clams, fried chicken, fried squid and fries to qualify as test subjects for the next pharmaceutical trials for Maximum-Strength Plavix.