Captain's Log: Stardate 11243.2
As I mentioned, it is now a fact that you need at least nine people to run a starship. Because last night, once again, we had eight. And a half.

Things went wrong. Badly wrong. And as I sit here at my desk in Starfleet Headquarters reflecting on the reasons, I think, ultimately, it comes down to the crew's lack of understanding of the word "redundancy".

For example, should the Enterprise have some sort of season-ending malfunction, Commander Richard made it clear that he would move the decommissioned Enterprise-A, now named "Blonde Vivienne", to Eastchester Bay, we'd pay an entry fee, and Viola! We'd be racing again. Redundancy.

So when Lt. Kurt bent his left thumb back to his wrist while grinding on the first upwind leg, he didn't see that he had a perfectly good thumb on his other hand, not to mention eight other perfectly good fingers. See? Redundancy.

And when Captain Dave took his attention away from the first jibe maneuver and subsequent take-down to make sure his son David Jr. - the aforementioned half man - didn't fall off the boat, he didn't remember that he has another perfectly healthy, safe and dry son at home. See? Redundancy.

And during that take-down, as Crewman Ceaser dropped the halyard and Commander Richard didn't ease the sheet, I saw my spinnaker twist, load up with stress and head for the water, knowing all the time that there is another chute down below. Redundancy.

Fuck that. Don't screw up my chute!

Another problem is that I'm beginning to think the crew want to switch their positions around, because many spent their time and energy focusing on everyone else's jobs and not their own. Tacks were slow, sets were slow, jibes were slow. I could type a thousand words on how that all made me feel, but I think the following image pretty much covers it:



Want to feel old? Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan was released 30 years ago this week. 30! Shit!

Crewman Ceaser: How did we do tonight, Captain?
Captain Edd: Horribly.
Crewman Ceaser: After all that!!?
Captain Edd: Because of all that.

And speaking of age, after we brought the Enterprise back to standard orbit, Lt. Ellen set up a fantastic spread of Kentucky Fried Chicken, corn on a stick, gravy, biscuits, vegees and mashed potatoes for the crew to dine on, all in celebration of my upcoming 46th birthday. Worth noting, after finishing a drumstick, Lt. Kurt stood up, reached out, and said, "I would like to grab a breast."

Well, yeah, who wouldn't?

The night ended with a delicious birthday cake and a box of Dunkin Donuts, which did wonders for lifting my sprits and made it a truly wonderful night. I almost totally forgot that it took the team 1.6 minutes to set up the food down below and 3.3 minutes to take down the spinnaker. Thank you all.