Stardate 11317.3

Captain's Log: Stardate 11317.3
Last night, I discovered that one of the Enterprise crew, Lt. Warren "Kurt" vonRoeschlaub, has volunteered for St. Baldrick's, a charity that raises money where 100% of the proceeds go towards children's cancer research. Now Kurt could have chosen to, oh I don't know, sell cookies or provide information technology services, but nope, Kurt, in an attempt to raise $2,000 for this worthy cause, has volunteered to shave his head (perhaps taking the name St. Baldricks a little too literally.)

Now, I'm sure Kurt is hoping to emerge from this event looking like this:

But, much like Captain Kirk returning from the 23rd Century to warn of how much Seth MacFarlane would suck hosting the Oscars, we too have been to the future and now have startling evidence of what Kurt will look like after the charity event:

Actually, it may be an improvement anyway.

Nevertheless, if giving to help research on children's cancer isn't enough, I've done some Internet research and this tactic also has benefits towards the Enterprise's racing program. Studies say cyclists with bald heads experience 8.2% less drag than with those with full heads of hair.

Who knows how much extra speed the Enterprise will obtain with a shaven Kurt on upwind legs? Could be just the edge we need.

We thank Kurt for allowing us to conduct this research, which I have no doubt was part of his reasoning. Of course, we would need boatloads of empirical data seeing how much difference this would make before I even suggest that the rest of the crew, especially my wife, follow suit.

So if it's for the Enterprise, or, better yet, for children's cancer research, please do what you can and donate to this worthy and noble cause: