Stardate 11328.8

Captain's Log: Stardate 11328.8
After the destruction of the former Enterprise-A, and once the insurance check cleared, my father, Commander Richard, has been on the search for a new used boat to own.

Since he'll be mostly single-handling the boat and likes working on projects, he wanted to find a boat that was less than 30 feet in length and was responsive enough to teach his grandchildren how to sail.

And last Sunday, after a survey and negotiation, he purchased a C&C 27 Mk V named Gemini from a dealer in Maryland:

And if things were just left at that, there would be no issues. But like using epoxy, any sanity will have to be matched with equal parts of crazy in order to have results.

You see, my father is an antique art dealer, focusing on 18th, 19th and early 20th Century paintings. But he also deals with, from time to time, more modern works. And, apparently, one of his more favorite artists of recent years is Tom Wesselmann (1931-2004) -- Wikipedia Biography.

Now, according to the so-called "experts", he's a pretty big deal, with his artwork going for hundreds of thousands of dollars. Personally, I think he's a monumental hack, who has fooled the world, but then again, maybe that's why my father is in the art business and I work in law firm marketing.

But I digress. In 1973, Wesselmann finished a series of paintings, 100 of them in total, called the "Great American Nude", arguably his most famous series of work. And so, with that in mind, my father has decided to name his new C&C 27 Mk V "Great American Nude".

But that's not all, sports fans. He plans to, as soon as he decides on the right image from the 100 paintings done by this Ohio-born pervert, to put one of them along the side of the boat. Perhaps one like this:

Yes, that's a Wesselmann. And it sold at Christies in 2008 for $983,048.00. I shit you not. See here.

Art or not, it certainly has an adult theme. Would you have a boat with that on the side in your yacht club mooring field?

And what about the grandchildren? Right now, I doubt their mother, my sister, would even let them near that boat. But then again, once puberty hits these two kids, they may want to be there all the time.

Anyway, I support his decision 100%. On one hand he has the guts to do something different and unique with his boat, much like I did years ago with the Enterprise. And, on the other hand, I figure it makes for a good "Exhibit A" during the competency hearing when we get control over the money.

Stardate 11326.0

Captain's Log: Stardate 11326.0
In 2010-2011, there was a television series based on a Twitter feed and a book called "$#*! My Dad Says" starring William Shatner:

... And in the pilot episode, he said, in one of the greatest sitcom one-liners in recent history, "Son, if is looks like manure and smells like manure, it's either Wolf Blitzer or manure." (link to review)

Well, after yesterday's flight from DC to New York, I've discovered they are one and the same.

So here is what happened -- seen and heard with my own eyes and ears:

At Gate 18 in Ronald Reagan Airport (surprised that Blitzer is even allowed by CNN to set foot inside Ronald Reagan Airport, but that's another story,) Wolf and his wife come up to the service counter and asks the attendant if he is able to use his points to obtain an upgrade to a first class seat.

Before I go any further, let's note the following: 1. He didn't pay for the first class ticket; and 2. It's a 38-minute flight to New York's LaGuardia Airport.

The attendant clicked away at her computer and replied that, yes, there was availability and he could use his points to upgrade if he wants.

So Wolf agrees and then asks, "What about my wife?"

The attendant clicks away again and tells him that, no, there is only one seat available for an upgrade.

And without skipping a beat, and paying no attention to the six other travelers in line behind him hoping for an upgrade, Wolf Blitzer says, "That's ok" and takes the seat in First Class. And, NO, he doesn't give his wife the better seat, but discards her to the back of the plane while he eats snacks, drinks, and reads the newspaper.

Oh. My. God.

So the next time you see a dog walking along the street and he picks a nice spot on the grass to scrunch down as the dog walker readies a plastic bag, just say to yourself, "Look at that dog. He's going to take a Wolf Blitzer".